SCOTSGAY MAGAZINE ================= ScotsGay is a monthly magazine for lesbians, gay men and bisexuals. Edited, printed and published in Scotland ScotsGay 80/- Heavy - Issue 47 - August 2002 ELECTRONIC EDITION ***Now available on the Web: http://www.scotsgay.co.uk/ How to Subscribe and Unsubscribe information is now at the END of the magazine. All Material Copyright (c) Pageprint Limited 2002. Permission is hereby given to distribute this material provided that this copyright notice is included and that distribution is specifically for non-profitmaking reasons. Distribution for profit must be done only with prior written consent of the magazine any deviation from this will be seen as an infringement of copyright. Hardcopies are limited to one per person for personal use only and such hard copies are subject to the same copyright restrictions as laid out above. The printed edition of ScotsGay is available by post at the following rates: 6 issue sub (UK & EC) 8ukp 6 issue sub (Overseas) 15ukp 12 issue sub (UK & EC) 15ukp 12 issue sub (Overseas) 28ukp Make Cheques and POs payable to 'Pageprint'or 'ScotsGay'and send them to: Subscriptions ScotsGay Magazine PO Box 666 Edinburgh Scotland EH7 5YW Inside this issue: Editorial News Festival Reviews Filth Glasgow Time For T Alan Joy's Dance Chart ScotsDyke Scottish Media Monitor Edinburgh Dundee Aberdeen Bi Vocal International Report from Rex Wockner Films ScotsGay Voice Personals Boxes - The ScotsGay Meet Market Helplines Listings Venues -------------------------------------------------------------------- EDITORIAL --------- The recent unexpected and sudden death of a straight friend got me thinking about just how much people can change when exposed to different stimuli. I first met David, as one does, at a beer festival. He was a brewer involved with a small craft brewery which had recently opened in Edinburgh. A congenial fellow from a rather different political background to myself, but as he was supplying the beer... So, a chance meeting grew into a firm friendship but, there were always those areas where, whilst not treading on eggshells, it seemed best not to go. And, if he went there, it seemed best not to confront: he was bigger than me and he was often buying (if not always brewing) the beer. He was a Tory - with a fairly simplistic political analysis informed mainly by the tabloids (although he was not an uneducated man). At University, he had been the scourge of the Left even, in a rabble raising speech to his Students' Union, memorably offering to hang IRA members personally. Yet, his politics were far to the left of NuLabour. He was a football supporter who could sing blatantly sectarian songs with the best (or worst) of them. Yet he described many of his fellow Hearts supporters as sectarian scumbags. His language when describing people with different coloured skins to his own could be deeply offensive. Yet his greatest respect (if not hero worship) was reserved for a man of the blackest hue. When it came to gay people, you could see this binary approach at work. The language was often unsettling and it was obvious that he was uncomfortable at times with gay people. You could also see the way in which his conversations with (assumed) heterosexuals would frequently mention his association with homosexuals (for he finished up with a number of us amongst his friends). Coming from a background where people like him just didn't associate with people like us meant that he had to, in effect, seek permission to do so from his straight contacts. But, over the years, you could see that he was mellowing. Secure in his own heterosexuality, he ceased to see us as a sexual threat. With changing attitudes in society, he ceased to make jocular (and not so jocular) excuses for our co-existence in his personal sphere. In fact, he went on the offensive. I can recall him, livid with rage, when he heard that his brewery was being badmouthed because there were "homosexuals associated with it". And, his anger was for all the right reasons. Just a few days before he died, he helped to deliver ScotsGay 46. I shall miss him. Dammit, I do miss him. If your copy of ScotsGay is late this month, you can blame David. Instead of humphing copies around on Friday evening, I'll be in the Halfway House drinking more than a few pints of the beer that Fisherrow Brewery has brewed in his memory. John Hein E-mail: editorial@scotsgay.co.uk -------------------------------------------------------------- NEWS ---- Bereaved gays earn right to sue ------------------------------- The Scottish Law Commission, which is the body which advises the Scottish Executive on law reform, on 8th August published its Report on Title to Sue for Non-Patrimonial Loss. At present in Scotland (as south of the border), an opposite-sex cohabiting partner can sue a person who wrongfully causes the death of their partner for both emotional and financial loss. A same-sex partner cannot sue for either kind of loss. The Scottish Law Commission is recommending that the law be changed so that a same-sex partner has the same right as an opposite-sex partner to sue for damages. The report says "As a matter of principle, it appears to us that same-sex cohabitants should be treated in the same way as opposite-sex cohabitants". The report also recommends the law be changed to give a person who accepts a child into their family, which could include a same-sex partner who is the co-parent of a child, the right to sue for damages for a wrongful act causing the child's death. Outright Scotland, Scotland's oldest and only democratic lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender rights organisation gave a warm welcome to the recommendations. Andrew Wilson, National Secretary of Outright said: "The recommendation to treat same-sex partners on an equal footing with mixed-sex couples on this issue is another step forward. It is particularly welcome coming from such a respected body as the Scottish Law Commission. "Despite being the only gay rights organisation to respond to the Scottish Law Commission on this we are very pleased to see that all the respondents to the Discussion Paper supported the inclusion of same-sex couples. And Outright is delighted that the Commission itself recommended further recognition for the rights of same-sex couples in title to sue for Patrimonial loss as well. "It is a further sign, along with other recent changes in Scots law, that we are prepared to progress human rights in advance of the rest of the United Kingdom, it is a strong message that discrimination has no place in a modern Scotland. "We trust that Scottish ministers will support the work of the Commission and introduce the draft Bill in the next session of the Scottish Parliament." The Commission's report includes a short draft Bill to introduce this and other adjustments to the Damages (Scotland) Act 1976, and the Equality Network will press for this Bill to be introduced in the Scottish Parliament as soon as possible. This report is another step towards full equality for same-sex cohabitants with mixed-sex cohabitants. In the past two years, the Scottish Executive and Parliament have legislated to extend to same-sex cohabitants the protections the law gives mixed-sex cohabitants in several areas: * The right to be consulted on the treatment of your partner if they become incapacitated and cannot make decisions * The right to succeed to a council or housing association tenancy on the death of your partner if they were the tenant * Protection from immediate eviction if you or your partner get behind on mortgage payments * Protection from domestic abuse Further legislation recognising same-sex partners is expected to be passed by the Parliament in the next few months, in the areas of land sales and mental health. May all your ops be equal ------------------------- The influential Equal Opportunities Committee of the Scottish Parliament wants to know what you think of Scotland's laws, policies or services! The Committee is 'taking stock' on LGBT issues. Between now and September 6th, all LGBT people and groups are invited to tell the Committee what the important issues are for us.The Committee will then call the relevant Scottish Executive Ministers to account and ask them what they intend to do to make changes. This is our chance to guide the agenda of the Scottish Parliament on LGBT equality issues. Please let the Committee know your view. Your response can be as short or as long as you want, and can be sent by email, fax or post. By email it could only take a couple of minutes to do! Full details of how to send in your comments, and more information about the kinds of subjects you might want to comment on, are on the Equality Network's website on the following page: http://www.equality-network.org/consultations.shtml#eoctakingstock (You can email your reply directly from there) The Committee's original letter inviting responses, it is at: http://www.scottish.parliament.uk/official_report/cttee/equal-02/eo02-clts2.htm Please let the Committee know what you think - the more people who reply, the clearer an idea the Committee will have of all the issues that are important to us. Law Trans-formed ---------------- The European Court of Human Rights on July 11th delivered a ground-breaking ruling in the cases of two transsexual women, Christine Goodwin and a woman known as I. The women complained to the Court (in 1995!) that under UK law they were discriminated against in a number of ways, including employment, social security and pension status, and their inability to marry a man, because legally they are regarded by UK law as men. The 17 judges unanimously held that their rights under the European Convention on Human Rights (ECHR) had been breached by the UK law. Their right to respect for her private life, under article 8 of the ECHR, was breached, and also, crucially, their right to marry, under article 12. This is the first time the European Court has ruled in this way - in previous very similar cases, the ruling has gone against the applicant. This is a good demonstration of the way the ECHR is a 'living instrument' which develops as knowledge and practice in European countries develops. Under the Scotland Act, the Scottish Executive is effectively under an obligation to act in reasonable time to ensure that Scots law in devolved areas is compatible with the ECHR. Gender re-registration, and marriage law, are devolved. The Equality Network has written to Justice Minister Jim Wallace to ask what he intends to do to bring Scots law into line with the ECHR, by allowing transsexual people to re-register gender for all legal purposes, including allowing a TS person to marry someone of the opposite gender. Holy Corner ----------- Holy Trinity Metropolitan Community Church, an Edinburgh Christian Church with a special affirming ministry within the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered communities, celebrated its seventh birthday with a packed celebration service recently. The Church is part of the Metropolitan Community Churches movement which was founded in 1968 in Los Angeles and now has over 300 member congregations in 19 countries around the world. The Edinburgh congregation worships every Sunday evening in the City's Quaker Meeting House and was founded as a result of the first Pride Scotland March and Festival in 1995. Rev Ian Bonner-Evans, Holy Trinity MCC's Pastor, was in celebratory mood. "This congregation started small," he said, "but we have seen in the past seven years that many in our City, gay and straight alike, want to worship in a Church which believes that Christ's Gospel for love and liberation is for all people." As well as its own birthday, the Church was also celebrating an exciting legal victory in Canada where its sister Church in Toronto had this past week won a case forcing the Ontario Government to recognise as legal marriages the same sex unions it performs. Healthy living for some ----------------------- On August 9th, the Lottery New Opportunities Fund announced their latest round of grants, for twelve Healthy Living Centres in Scotland, including UKP900,000 funding for an LGBT Healthy Living Centre for Lothian. This will be the first LGBT Healthy Living Centre in Scotland, and will aim to improve the health and wellbeing of LGBT people in, and travelling to, Lothian region. It will provide a one-stop health shop, health advocacy service, health promotion activities, a staff training and consultancy service and community health development project. The LGBT Healthy Living Centre will open in 2003. The ultimate aim of the LGBT Healthy Living Centre will be to make mainstream health care services more responsive and accessible to LGBT people. Congratulations to all the organisations involved in putting this project together, including Lothian Health Board and Trusts, and various LGBT groups including Lothian Lesbian and Gay Switchboard, Lothian Lesbian Line, Gay Men's Health, Stonewall Youth Project, West Lothian Transgender Support Network, Gay Women's Social Group, Edinburgh Lesbian Mothers Group and Lesbian and Bisexual Women's Counselling Network. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Festival reviews from our correspondents ======================================== *from Martin Walker Welcome to Edinburgh. For those of you, like me, who live here - how lucky we are. A beautiful city with beautiful people, and the world's biggest arts festival ta boot! It's just a shame that the weather is so... well like it is. The following shows are listed by venue, so where does one start? You could do a lot worse than call in at one of the 'C' theatres. If the success of a venue is measured by 5 star shows then 'C' is head and shoulders above the rest. The 'C' bar bustles with performers between shows and even the beer isn't too expensive. Shopping and Fucking: Mark Revenhill's twisted shocker returns to the Fringe. Three bisexuals, a 14 year old rent boy and a businessman show Generation X the state we're in. Drugs, S&M, underage gay sex, bisexuality, open relationships are all graphically put before our eyes as the point is sledgehammered home. A rock solid script deserves strong performances and all five leads distinguish themselves here. Simon Ramsey as the rent boy Gary gives us a very real all too convincing portrayal of an abused child. Indeed, abuse is all this kid knows, yet Ramsey plays the part with massive strength and conviction - Gary is more than just a victim. Dominic Charles-Rouse as Mark, the recovering junkie searching for an identity, reflects the duplicity and mental anguish of a compulsive personally trying not to be. David Westerby, shines as Robbie the campish selfish bisexual boy (and the worst 'e' dealer in the club). Sally Humphrys gives her complex character, Lulu, the emotional depth to ensure that we stick with her and her lonely desperation. And Kevin Stone as Brian terrifies everybody with his moody dangerous violent capitalist rants and his love of Disney's Lion King. In short this production of Shopping and Fucking is a triumph. Not to be missed. ***** Kiss of the Spiderwoman: This one, everyone has heard of, but few have ever seen. It's been an award winning musical and an Oscar winning film. Ten years ago it was an Edinburgh Fringe play. Now Manuel Puig's romantic thriller is back. David Westerby (fresh from Shopping and Fucking), and Sebastian Bates tell the story of the gay window dresser and the straight Marxist, co-habiting a prison cell. Westerby in particular shines as Molina, who wants to share more than good stories with the moody Valentin. Both leads captivate their audience completely in a tightly performed, highly professional production that deserves to be seen by every serious lover of good drama. **** The Black Sheep: Comedy can be many things - deep, satirical, whimsical, light, offensive, whatever. The first rule though, of course, is to be funny. Much of this show is, as billed, hilarious - indeed there is more good than bad here. The performers are great - the James Dean statue running gag was top drawer as was the final show stopping song, but a much tighter script would have made this show better than just 'ok'. *** Dorothy's Friends: Whenever I watch the Wizard of Oz, a movie which I absolutely love, I imagine Thatcher as the Wicked Witch. 'Ding Dong the Bitch is Dead' will one day become a gay anthem. Fruits of the Womb Theatre Company see the land of Oz in much the same way - indeed Dorothy's Friends is today's definitive Wizard of Oz - and a much needed antidote to our post political 'gay community'. Once upon a time Dorothy hid in his bedroom with his computer. One day, a cyber whirl wind dragged him off (quite literally) to the land of Soho, where he met a fabulous drag queen, killed Thatcher and became a she. Nathan Guy is the perfect Dorothy. He surely has the part that every gay man in the world wants to play... and a great singing voice too. Chris Jone's Sorceress is, amongst other achievements, the best drag act I've seen in years. Indeed, the entire cast are superb. With a fantastic collection of no less than 16 original musical numbers and a tight, hilarious, political script, this show deserves your immediate attention. Quite possibly the best thing at the Edinburgh Fringe in 2002. ***** The Haunted Through Lounge Recessed Dining Nook at Farndale Castle: Ha! A show within a show. This is the stuff that the true Fringe is made of. The Farndale Women's Guild are putting on a play... set in a ghostly castle where a murderer is on the loose. Well, of course, the whole thing goes horribly wrong from the outset. Missed lines, faulty sets and temperamental egos. Everything is produced badly to perfection. All the performances were top notch, but of particular note was Sioban Doran's Jasmine, who had to play four parts, and bless her, kept forgetting which character she was supposed to be. We laughed for the whole 80 minutes and immediately wanted to go and see it again. Wonderfully over the top and as camp as it comes. But why such a short run? **** Cambridge Footlights 2002 - Today of All Days: Those sexy young things are back with more fun from Cambridge. If you haven't seen the footlights before, then expect a damn good laugh. These kids are good at what they do, especially Ruth Pickett, with her 'torn between two men' routine, and Dan Stevens, with his Performance Art send up. Only Tom Bell's teacher felt a little flat, his story was supposed to be boring - that was the joke - it just went on rather too long... Ed Weeks made a great surly barman though and Guy Morgan could fill in as Baldrick if Tony Robinson ever phoned in sick. *** Cock and Bull: If there was an award for the most frequent and gratuitous use of the word 'cunt' in a fringe production then Cock and Bull would win hands down. This would no doubt greatly please Will Self, the author of the book this piece is based upon. In two different stories a women grows a cock and a man grows a cunt. Performed with energy and precision, the cast lap up Self's ideas and concepts. An amazing spectacle. But the script lacks any coherent voice. Perhaps the help of illegal chemicals would help. *** News Review 2002: Quick fire topical comedy from Canal Cafe Theatre and the crowd went wild. Impressions from the top drawer. In real life, US leader George Dubya Bush looks pretty stupid. These guys have a fair crack at it but they just ain't makin' him stupid enough. The Big Brother stuff was hilarious and the Duke of Edinburgh song and dance routine was inspired. The Tony B and the Teachers musical number was, well, probably closer to real life than our PM would like to think. But the gay Adolf Hitler spoilt it for me. Are we not beyond that type of ladish heterosexism? *** This is Soap: Another good reason to be at the 'C' venue this year is to breakfast with 'This is Soap' every morning at 11.15am. It's improvisational comedy of the highest quality. The ideas come from the previous days audience then are acted out before us like bad soap opera. I actually saw this show 5 times, and never heard the same joke twice. Camp as it comes and a great way to start any Fringe day.**** Our Song: Keith Waterhouse's middle class comedy finally outs what we have known for years - the private lives of heterosexuals are extremely dull. In a tedious and somewhat pointless affair Roger (Philip Buck) drinks champagne and gets his end away. Fluffed lines from a dreadful script. Only Ruth Rogers as Angie. the mistress, comes away with any credit at all. The duplicity and ultimately, the honesty, of her character shine through in an otherwise complete waste of time. ** Also recommended at 'C': I am Oscar Wilde - Winner of the NY Fringe Award. Drip - Bilingual physical theatre. A story about being different; Falling Angel, Rising Ape - modern dance at its sexy best. The Garage has loads of venues dotted around the capital. The Grindlay Court Centre is a fab wee venue with a great performance spaces and some top shows. Bisexual Alphabet: Anyone who begins a Press Release "21-year-old Nobody to Perform Original Play at Fringe" ain't gonna take things too seriously. And David Chapman doesn't. His company, Drive-thru Theatre, was hastily formed whilst completing his Fringe registration forms. David is the founder, artistic director, and sole member. A one man show. Instantly likable David spoke with his capacity audience like each one was his best friend, and most of them, I am quite convinced, quite rightly fancied the pants off him. This show will appeal to every one, regardless of who they sleep with. The script is rich, profound and very very funny. We visit the womb, a bar called Velvet Elvis, a boys camp, Starbucks... as he searches for the meaning of bisexuality, and with a huge break from tradition, actually finds it. ***** A Friend of Dorothy: Not to be confused with 'Dorothy's Friend' at 'C', this an entirely different land of Oz. This Lucy Alibar-Harrison penned one women show explores the life of Judy Garland via those who knew or admired her. We have her neurotic mother, we have the blood sucking studio boss, we have the child growing up gay... Laura Sydonie's performance is quite breath taking. She has you gripped from the opening moment and she holds you to the last line. Intense, touching and occasionally funny, this warts and all look at the Legend born as Frances Ethel Gumm will have you cherishing the memory of Judy Garland even more. Her death lead, in part, to The Stonewall Riots and the birth of the gay liberation movement. In the end, on this stage, there were what looked like real tears. ***** Also recommended at The Garage: Samurai Male Revue 2 - Exploring the love of two J-Boys through dance; Sagha - the story of excessive courage and generosity, Iranian style. Augustine's on George IV Bridge is a great wee venue with a reputation for presenting strong international theatre. This year is no exception. Born African: Stunning performances from the all male cast and a script that contains real magic. Born African is the story of Zimbabwe today as told through the eyes of many, portrayed by just three. We learn a great deal about poverty, imperialism and racism. Last year's production was a massive success. This year it is selling out. Get a ticket if you can **** Also recommended at Augustine's - The Taming of the Shrew - by the people who bring you 'Born African' The Assembly Rooms is the most well known venue on the Fringe - and one of the most expensive, but it does have some real gems this year. Sadly, Michael Moore, who was due to appear, had to cancel late due to a bereavement. But the rest of their programme remains intact. Out in the Garden: The piece starts with two fit naked young men prancing about the stage, apparently having had their clothes nicked while 'at it' in a bush. Stuart (Richard Smith) is getting married in the morning. Unfortunately, he's just had sex with Liam (John Pickard) and he, well, quite liked it. The whole cast play it for laughs and they do it well, though Ang (Anna Baker) gets all the best lines as Stuart's virginal wife to be. This is a truly modern farce with a real story to boot. Even the gnomes were good. For me, against some tough competition, the best the Assembly Rooms has had to offer the gay punter this year. **** Bob Downe - Whiter! Brighter!: Burn Baby Burn. Disco Inferno. After a break of four years Bob is back to perform in his 12th Edinburgh Festival. Why fix what's not broken? The Oz born Mark Trevorrow is very good at being Bob Downe. He wins over the cynics in the audience in seconds. And the Apple Fresh Dancers - Amber and Ashley, sex the whole thing up very nicely indeed. Ash, by the way, is absolutely fuckin' stunning. No he really is. The songs the three perform are all gay anthems of course, cheesy dance routines and Pan's People choreography, and the comedy stand up moments are sharp, witty and quietly, very quietly, subversive. Go see him and have a ball! **** Zipp! - 100 musicals in 90 minutes: Gyles Brandreth, of all people, leads his cast into an entertaining and competent trip through the musicals. You can't get much camper, in the 21st century, than a former Tory MP. - especially when he's dressed as Frank from the Rocky Horror Show. But for all the laughs the real highlight was Amanda Symonds straight rendition of 'Send in the Clowns'. *** Jackie Clune is Boy Crazy!: 'Jackie Clune Hates Everybody' would have been a better title. Which is a shame, because underneath her callous twisted persona is a very funny women with a great singing voice. Here's the gist... She lived as a lesbian for a while and then she decided women were too deep and so turned to men. Not the 'new man' type, but old fashioned men (i.e. arseholes) who are short of a brain cell or two. I'm sure it wasn't meant to feel like a counseling session, but it did. Maybe on another night it hangs together better. But not this night. ** Craig Hill - The People's Friend: A big hello to the guys I met in the queue for this show (do get in touch!) He's a lovely wee man is our Craig. Regular compare at OOT on Tuesday at The Stand comedy club, and emerging TV star. Local boy made good (if by local we mean Scottish). He has a fabulous future ahead. And fuck me, he can sing too. Like Julian, Graham or Scott Capurro - being gay is his act. He reads out bits of trashy magazines and he sends himself, and his rise to fame, up nicely. Straight people love him, and so do we. **** Scott Capurro: Well, if being gay is your act it doesn't help if you don't like yourself very much. Two years ago this set was shocking and funny - an antidote to PC gone mad. This year nobody walked out - which must have really fucked Scott Capurro off. Times have changed but the script hasn't. The poor man seems to have run out of material. Perhaps he's spending too much time with the pink pound blessed fashion victims on 'That Gay Show' on BBC choice. Whatever. * Also recommended at the Assembly Rooms: Jerry Springer, The Musical - good clean camp fun; Correspondent - the real life story of a journalist abroad. The Gateway Theatre is a former TV studio complex at the top of Leith Walk. Comfortable and spacious its well worth checking out. The staff are all dead friendly too. Solemn Mass for a Full Moon in Summer: Don't let the title fool you - watching these performers is far from a depressing experience. Set on the balcony of a tenement flat on a hot summer night, five characters share their ecstasy, their pain and their love. Suzzanne Donaldson and David Fitzgerald are brilliant as the passion fueled young lovers full of energy and lust. Thomas Newman and Ali de Souza shine as the gay couple coming to terms with a real crisis. Catherine Owen's Widow moves you with her beauty, strength and dignity. Michel Tremblay's script is faultless, and what these five Scots do with his words will really move you. What ever you do, don't miss this. ***** Also recommended at The Gateway: A Pornographic Fatality - Monty Pythonesque life affirming physical theatre. The Hill Street Theatre has a lot of stairs. It also has some of the most friendly staff on the Fringe. Handy for the Laughing Duck too. Head Games: "Cocks sell tickets so let's do a cock show!". If full frontal male nudity is what you want to see then you have come to the right place. A gay comedy farce. Lots of fun is to be had here - but don't look for any hidden meanings - there aren't any. *** Also recommended at the Hill Street Theatre: Slaves of Starbucks - Black comedy satire at its best The Underbelly is a collapsing old building that would probably be a squat if it wasn't for the Fringe. Instead we have great bars, loads of performance spaces on three floors, and a pretty decent programme of theatre and comedy. Electric Avenue: Set in Brixton during the riots, this moving piece settles for all time the reason why violence breeds violence. We also unflinchingly and accurately see the role of the state and the police in 80's violent racist England. This is gripping, edgy stuff about what divides us, whatever the reason for the division. Steel is an African British man who has converted to Islam. A mystic, who knows his history and has seen his brother killed at the hands of the police. Daryl is a young African American art collector whose father left her a fortune. She believes that she can buy back what the white man has stolen from her. Cox is a white British policeman who grew up in Zimbabwe. At first nave, but later a violent man who isn't aware of his own racist attitudes. The result of the three meeting is explosive, violent and enlightening. **** Charlie's Angles: Rule 1 - stand up comedy should not be delivered by a former PE teacher. Rule 2 - gay comedians should ensure that their entire act revolves around their sexuality. Rule 3 - comics should never be nice to their audience. Rule 4 - gay people should not be football fans and if they are, they certainly shouldn't support Rangers. Well, Charlie Ross breaks all the above rules of course, and a few more. Popular culture has never been so funny. His soft Glasgow accent and his friendly surrealism put you at ease. From Big Brother to Star Wars, he had the whole audience, straight and gay, men and women, eating out of his palm. Look out for him appearing at The Stand In Glasgow and Edinburgh very soon. He isn't just the best gay comedian on the Fringe this year. He's the best comedian. ***** Also recommend at the Underbelly: Blood, Guts, Sex and Death - Julian Clary meets Trainspotting The Pleasance Courtyard, on a hot day, is a great place to hang out. It has a large cobbled beer garden, you're surrounded by performers, touts and entrances to theatre spaces (of varying size and levels of air conditioning). Mind you, if its pissing it down the place is pretty miserable. The beer isn't cheap either. It's best known for comedy but there is much more to the Pleasance venues, be it Courtyard, Dome or Over the Road. True or Falsetto? A Secret History of the Castrati: Ernesto Tomasini's brilliant piece turns another terrible mistake by the Catholic Church into an entertaining black comedy. It was Rome, apparently, that decreed that young boys be castrated to ensure a lasting singing voice for God. Years later Catholics called those very same boys an abomination. Tomasini's comedy is kind to the boys but twists the knife into Catholicism. However, the real highlights of the show are the operatic songs. If Tomasini's comedy is visual and versatile, his singing voice is perfection. A real treat. **** The Desires of Frankenstein: The publicity makes a big thing of the shows lead being 'Sol' from 'Hollyoaks'. They are probably right to, as there is little else Desires of Frankenstien has going for it. So if you fancy Paul Danan go and see this. If you don't then pick a show with a few more stars attached to it. * Andrew Clovers Birthday Party: "This show", said Stephen, (my partner), "involves a high degree of audience participation." Now, if someone is going to get picked on, humiliated or dragged onto the stage, that someone is Steve. Audiences think he's a plant. Comedians think he's great. Knowing this, we hid in the back row and tried not to draw attention to ourselves. It kind of worked. I got yanked up on to the stage instead. We were there on the opening night, and only one member of the capacity audience had paid to get in. Never the less Andrew Clover had a really great birthday party. I'd explain the whole thing - but that would spoil it for you. Recommend that you wear a mac. Recommend that you see this show. **** Jason Wood - Bare Camp: Boy this boy can sing. He is camp, he is funny, he is dreadfully cruel to his own audience - but above all he can sing. Not only that but he can sound like Alison Moyet, Boy George, Craig David, Elton John, Sarah Brightman and many other artists including somehow, Pavarotti. Every one enjoyed the show. Well I say everyone, and this is the rub... if you are not prepared to be humiliated, then you may wish to give this a wide berth. In the realm of comic put downs and general abuse he makes Graham Norton look like an amateur. Some members of the audience were just too nervous to have a good time. *** Kiss of Life: Only at the Fringe do you get a funny show about suicide obsession, a lost cat and argon gas. Chris Goode is an intelligent bloke, but one night he decides to kill himself. As he's standing on the bridge on the edge of the river he changes his mind, only for a stranger to push him in. Then, another stranger rescues him and runs off. On returning to his flat he finds that his cat, Nico, is missing. Still with me? Ok, so whilst out looking for his cat he meets and picks up a beautiful homeless boy who happens to have the same name as his missing feline. Nico, (the boy) and Chris commence a highly charged, highly sexed and by all accounts, pretty weird relationship. Entertaining and thought provoking - this story has enough twists to keep you engaged until the surprisingly upbeat end. **** Madame Galina - Ballet Star Galactica: Herself is an exiled Russian ballet dancer who, frankly, is a little too big and a little too male to be taken seriously by the operatic world. Or indeed by anyone else. We are treated to an hilarious hour long ballet class, plus a performance of her own at the end. Maybe a little saggy in places but entertaining enough. *** Chris Neill Does it with Strangers: Another gay comic at the Fringe - we are being spoilt. He isn't bad either. Its just that he didn't have anything to say that the average homo hasn't already heard a thousand times. As with many gay comedians, whose whole routine revolves around the quirks of being gay, this goes down much better on a straight audience. Indeed, if Chris wasn't gay, much of his material would come off sounding pretty homophobic. *** The Stand Comedy Club showcases comic talent all year around. Their Fringe programme reads like a who's who of up and coming stars. It's a gay friendly space too... Bruce Devlin - One Fat Lady: So to the heroic tale of one homosexual's escape from Dundee. Presented at a break neck pace - what starts as a run of the mill drag act quickly becomes much much more. We meet an array of unlovable characters, in some hilarious set pieces. The Call Centre routine in particular was hysterical. There is a wealth of great material here, the familiar black comic routine with an epic new twist. But perhaps he would benefit from slowing his delivery just a little... it was hard to keep up with him, but then he does have so much to say. **** OOT on Tuesday - Everybody knows about stand up comedy's only gay night in the capital, what more is there to say? How about well done to The Stand for keeping it going during the worlds biggest arts festival! From midnight till 2am every Tuesday night you would be nuts to be anywhere else. **** Also recommended at The Stand: Susan Morrison's Auld Reekie's Oxtors; Keara Murphy's Silver Scream - 100 years of Hollywood in 60 minutes. The Gilded Balloon venues host an array of comedy acts and other shows. Cowgate, Peppermint Lounge, Caves (1,2 and 3) and Teviot. Catch the stars before they get famous... The Fall of the House of Spencer Brown: Boy this guy is good. Mostly. Stand up with knobs on, the gorgeous Spencer Brown is like nothing else you have ever seen. When it works it's brilliant - it's just that sometimes it didn't. But you have to admire the guy for taking risks. *** Kandi Kane - Native New Yorker: The stereotypical Jew thing has been done to death - but no ones does it like Kandi Kane. Apparently she has performed in some of the finer pubs and gay bars in the UK, but has grown tired of changing in toilets. When she learned that over 1500 acts perform in Edinburgh each year she asked herself: "So how hard can it be?" So, she placed an ad in the Fringe Programme and instructed a PR to slap up a few posters around town. "It's just a matter of choosing the right accessories and schmoozing a bit. I should have a development deal with the BBC by September," Actually if a BBC bod does get the chance to catch her brilliantly cruel Delia Smith impersonation, or her great Marmite ad piss take, then Kandi could become a very big star indeed. And if there is an homosexual out there that has not yet seen her alarmingly accurate and hilarious Cher, then you really are missing out. **** Lesbian Launderette: Ok, I've just been handed a piece of paper on which is written the original title for this show, "Three Gay Men, Two Fag Hags, a Transvestite, a Corpse and a Necrophile in a Lesbian Launderette." This, slightly longer title, still doesn't cover the whole thing. We can add "... with great original(more or less) songs and choreography with brooms." Special mention should go to Tina and Marge, the washer women - but all the performers are great. Indeed, it works best when the whole lot of them are up on stage singing their hearts out. Don't worry about the plot. "A bit short of punters cos its run by munters..." Actually they are playing to what are very nearly full houses. I had a ball and so will you. **** The Critics: Shows can be funny, entertaining, political and thought provoking. They are very rarely this accurate. This original production invites us to dig into the minds of the those who work the worlds easiest profession - the British journalist. Every day they congress in a bar and compete for the most savage review of the days Fringe show. 'Sleazy sex scandal supposition shocker as sycophantic scribblers savage super sensitive summer stock stunna!" They hate Edinburgh and they hate the Fringe. They hate people. The folk on stage are professional actors and it shows. The script is water tight - and the Asylum Seeker sub plot was the hammer that knocked the nail in. **** Latin: Stephen Fry's comedy about the public school teacher who has a sexual relationship with a 13 year old boy returns to the Fringe after a decade. But we shouldn't fear, Fry's script does not approve of under age sex. This is all about having a go at the culture of power in all male public schools. And it's competently done. The gags are funny, it all just seems a little too obvious. *** You Couldn't Make it Up: No you couldn't make this up. Written and directed by the experienced and talented Patrick Wilde, this is a semi auto biographical piece about a writer who can't get his gay film made. Wilde has written for everything from This Life, Casualty, Peak Practice, As If... the list goes on and on. The cast are top class, especially Andy Killick as the witty bitch flat mate Max and Theo Van Dort's boyband star John. Incredibly, the whole thing is let down by the script. There is too much plot here. Too many issues crammed in at the expense of character exposition. Without at least one strong lead character to hang the story on, the whole thing fails to emotionally connect with the audience. Which is a shame because there are some new political ideas here. *** Also Recommended at the Gilded Balloon: Puppetry of the Penis - does exactly what it says on the tin; Around the World in a Bad Mood - the confessions of a Flight Attendant The Rocket venues are spread all over Edinburgh, situated in community centres and a hotel. The Rocket on Infirmary St. has a really friendly cafe too. Beautiful Thing: Jonathan 'Gimmie Gimmie Gimme' Harvey's classic bittersweet comedy returns to Edinburgh with a new cast - this year produced by the About Turn Theatre Company (lead by director Dan Hyde, who has a well deserved reputation for excellence at the fringe). The script of course is top drawer. The writer's catty bitchy humour runs through the entire performance, especially in Soraya Chandiramani's Leah, the mixed up tart of a neighbour. And Mike Murray shines as Jason, the 15 year old with a crush on his best pal. Indeed a real sense of gradual change is achieved by both leads - from straight best mates to gay lovers. Note to Mike - don't give up your passion for drama. Please. Sadly however, there were one or two problems with the show. One was visibility. If you sit to far too the left or right of the stage you cannot see all of what is going on. The other was the set itself. Doors kept opening and shutting for no reason. At one point the whole thing looked as if it was going to collapse and one audience member in the front row thrust his arms over his head. But this was still an entertaining, thought provoking, funny, feel good, life affirming production. But it should have been a five star one. *** The Importance of Being Earnest: This version of Oscar Wilde's ever popular play, done entirely in drag, is not bad, but it nearly is. The audience were treated to a constant and irritating flashing light display before the show even began - a voice quite audible to everyone announced that he couldn't figure out which switch was which. The set changes were chaotic and stage managers could often be seen standing around the set during the production, hands on hips, looking like the whole thing was somebody else's fault. The atmosphere at this venue (The Apex Hotel) seemed so pressured, someone had forgotten that people come to a show to enjoy themselves. Fortunately and thankfully, it's all about what happens on the stage. Most of the actual performers were top class. In particular, Henry Stow's Lady Bracknell was perfect - with an ear for great comic timing, Tom Houghton's Miss Prism was played to camp perfection, and Jennifer Mattison in the dual role of Lane and Merriman, quite rightly stole most of the scenes she was in. If ever the actors rescued a show form those around them, than this was it. The free programme wasn't bad either. *** So that's my festival so far. For more information and more reviews email me at the address below. If you see me out and about come say hi. Do visit Adam and Joe at the 'Under New Management' NEXUS on Broughton Street and don't forget to end your festival with the fab club night JOY! Love, Martin For my boyfriend Stephen mgwuk@hotmail.com *from Martin Powell Paines Plough, The Drowned World (Traverse): Some shows are instantly accessible and others are deep and impenetrable. This was definitely in the later part of the spectrum but if anyone was going to pull it off it required the superb acting talent one expects - and got - from Paines Plough coupled with superb lighting design from Natasha Chivers. Unfortunately even with direction from the excellent Vicky Featherstone I don't think they quite made it. Essentially it's about human relationships, light and dark, and man's humanity to man, or the lack of it. Meeting that absolutely gorgeous thing on a train and whether it works out or not. I was later led through thoughts of Nazi Germany, Anne Frank, Rwanda, and the former Yugoslavia - particularly with reference to starvation and rape. Attitudes to authority and when it is right to go with the flow and when we must fight against it. Quite a lot to get through in 80 minutes. Red Chair Players, The Laramie Project (C Venue): "On 7 October 1998 Matthew Shepard was tied to a fence, beaten and left to die in the hills outside Laramie Wyoming in what was termed the worst hate crime America had ever seen" it said on the stage as we entered the theatre. On being given a programme I heard another audience member's alarm bells ringing as he commented on the huge number of characters (over 60) the 7 actors were trying to portray. This sort of thing is difficult to do successfully but this is a masterpiece. Put simply, the inhabitants of a small town in America were interviewed in the wake of the murder of gay student Matthew Shepard and the play examines attitudes to homosexuality, the role of religion, and the effects of the descent of the media circus. So powerful was this that it was not long before my handkerchief was out. They really got into all the characters and the portrayal of Dennis Shepard addressing the court was breathtaking. Definite 5 star stuff. Ojemba Productions in Association with ARC, My England (Pleasance Courtyard): In this play by Clifford Oliver we follow two people who are thrown together for an afternoon. Ant (Jonathan Salt) is a white racist moronic football fan and a frightening prospect he is. Tony (William Ferguson) is black, successful, intelligent and at the same England game. They both get arrested during the match and are held in the same cage by Laura (Lynda Morris), a well meaning but new police officer. In the play we explore what it is like to be English or British or whatever. However what I really liked about the play was the fact that it didn't simply condemn racism but tried to explore what drives people to be racist. First rate material well presented. True or Falsetto - A Secret History of the Castrati, Ernesto Tomasini (Pleasance Courtyard): If you've got it flaunt it and Tomasini has a fine falsetto voice, so I suppose a history lesson about castrati seemed the best way. Posing as a priest giving a music lesson about men who have had that unthinkable alteration we are taken from ancient Chinese times to a medieval and misogynous Catholic church that wants high voices but not women, until it goes out of fashion in the 19th century. Quite well put together but not I thought sufficient material for an Edinburgh show. Activated Image, Latin (Gilded Balloon Teviot): I have never understood why a land traditionally so intolerant of homosexuality as Britain should have developed institutions such as public schools, the boy scouts, and church choirs. This fine satire written over 20 years ago by Stephen Fry deals with the practice of locking up young schoolmasters with teenage boys. In this fine production directed by Adam Barnard, Domenic Clarke (Mark Farrelly) is a 26 year old Latin teacher who lusts after a pupil, Rupert Cartwright, who never appears. The only other character we see on stage is the elderly master Herbert Brookshaw (John Noad) who turns out to have his own sexual ways. This portrayal is all the more impressive when one realises Noad is only 23.Riotously funny and with some fine double entendres - which not all of the audience got - it is very tastefully done and is not the filth some of the gutter press would have you believe. Eastgate Productions in association with The Torch Theatre, Oh Hello (Venue 13): In this work written and performed by Dave Ainsworth, about the life of Charles Hawtrey, who I think of from Carry On films, one first has to get round the fact that Ainsworth doesn't really look or sound like Hawtrey, but having overcome that we get into the life and loneliness of a man who thought he was overlooked. He had quite a long and distinguished film career having at one time appeared in a film directed by Hitchcock. We learn about his rivalry with Kenneth Williams, his drunkenness, and flamboyant gay sexuality. Not a happy picture but I suspect not a happy man. UNLV Dance, Dancescapes III (Garage): I'm ashamed to admit that I've forgotten which famous choreographer said in the 1930s "Most dance is too long". This was said at a time when 15 minutes was considered a long dance piece. The joy of the Dancescapes series is that this is a complaint that could never be made of them. It starts off as the audience are taking their seats with "Baggies", a fun little piece with two dancers in bags. This develops as the house lights go down into "It's in the Bag". A more serious yet still fun piece with 4 bags. I was reminded of the elastic bodies of cartoon characters. This is followed by the very different "Nadia and the Desert Dancers". As the title suggests this nods in the direction of Middle Eastern dance but is in fact carefully executed contemporary dance. Changing again we get a solo singer and two dancers. Five more wonderful pieces follow. Can I book my ticket for next year's Dancescapes IV now please? Green Pig, Fifteen Minutes (C Venue): I don't know why this show was so bad as those involved in it have a list of credits as long as your arm, but they appear to be green, it's a pig of a show, and 15 minutes is probably about the length of time the audience wished it had lasted. Let's start with some basics. Make it plausible: if a couple have been at it all night in bed it is not a good idea for them to appear fully clothed. If the actors have problems with nudity then they can easily don clothes before pulling back the sheets. Secondly, make it audible: During the first scene I just couldn't hear most of what Anne (Laura Nupponen) was saying and I was in the third row. This was made worse by at one point having the actors sitting on the floor by the bed. Sat on the far side of the bed facing away from the audience. Thirdly, make it interesting. A women who is in a happy heterosexual relationship who turns up a couple of scenes later as a lesbian has had quite a lot of character development. It would have been nice if this could have been shared with the audience. And fourthly don't do things that cause the audience to walk out. To be fair I don't think this was entirely the company's fault. I think what happened was that one person took exception to the rape scene and walked out. This was taken as a signal by about a third of the audience of 20 to do likewise. This included 2 members of the venue staff, something I've never seen before. Shakti, Empire of the Senses and Realm of Desire (Garage): The first show has Shakti appearing at the back of the stage. Various images such as clouds or landscapes are projected onto the screen. Visually stunning as ever we cover the senses and end with volcanoes erupting in fires of passion. Empire of the senses may be about the 5 senses but it is fairly clear what the second show is about as Shakti starts by coming on stage blindfolded, handcuffed, and shackled. The blindfold comes off and she starts to dance. The bonds are soon replaced by a whip and not much in the way of clothing. By this stage any members of the Glasgow Licencing Committee who feel a little queasy about lap-dancing would be having full blown heart attacks, and that's before the bit where Shakti dons red rubber gloves and climbs on top of one of the other female dancers. Don't get me wrong, this is serious dance but it is dance about the erotic side of our nature. Why should we pretend we have no erotic side when it comes to dance? No reason at all. Oh, and if any member of that Licencing Committee or Andrea Dworkin wants to see the show I'll gladly buy them a ticket but don't expect me to phone for the ambulance. Guy Masterson & TTI, Oleanna (Assembly Rooms): I'm not sure how I've managed not to see this play by David Mamet before now given it's been around for 10 years, however that made this production all the more powerful. The story of John (Guy Masterson), a university lecturer who is destroyed by Carol (Beth Fitzgerald), a not particularly bright yet manipulative student. There was a point early in the show where John says "you don't have to take notes you can just listen". I had to agree, put my notebook on the floor, and sat there spellbound.Chatting to someone before heading off to see the show he told me that he had spoken to Masterson the day before and he was happy with the show. Happy? He should be ecstatic, as should director Emma Lucia who having taken two brilliant actors and equipped them only with two chairs, two bags, and a mobile phone on the huge stage of the Assembly Rooms' Ballroom could not have done a better job. It is a measure of great theatre that one becomes so engrossed one loses all sense of time. I thought this finished after 20 minutes until I checked my watch and found I'd been there for the best part of 90 minutes. Peccadillo Theatre Company, Dust to Dust (Assembly Rooms): A light hearted show by Robert Farquhar about drink and death. Mick Finnegan has fallen down the stairs when drunk and died and his friend, Henry (Ron Meadows) who knows him from the pub is phoned to sort things out. He and Kev (Warren Donnelly), another boozer, go to sort out his flat and are joined by Mick's ex wife Holly (Julie Riley) down the pub. The clever bit is that by and large we have three characters telling their memory of events in past tense rather than three actors relating to each other using present tense. Not easy to do - either as writer or actor - but Farquhar manages it effortlessly with superb performances by all three actors. Theatre at its best. Guy Masterson and TTI, Goering's Defence (Assembly Rooms) "It really hits you in the face" said the person behind me to their partner after the show. I know what they mean. Victors' justice is not pretty, and it's particularly ugly in this show. We see Goering (Ross Gurney-Randall) on the eve of his execution and with excerpts from his trial. At times one almost feels sympathy for him. A pilot hero of the First World War in a country denied an airforce by the disastrous Treaty of Versailles. A nation stripped of its honour and pride turning in desperation to Hitler. The horrors that ensued to the Jews and other minorities and the story of the war and attempting to tell Goering's side of it. He comes across as a nasty man but with some basic humanity who at best knew nothing of the Nazi's worst excesses and at worst turned a blind eye to them. As one expects from Guy Masterson a superb production with excellent acting. The Riot Group, Victory at the Dirt Palace (Garage): There may only be 103 words from King Lear in this but I think I would have got more out of this had I been more familiar with that play. High octane theatre indeed. Delivered at such volume and pace I expected my head to blown off. A father, James Mann, and his daughter Kay are news anchors on rival TV channels. Desperate for ratings and willing to do anything to get them. Are they human beings or merely presenters? Did someone mention truth? No, I thought not. What does it matter if there are acts of terrorism or for the issues over which wars are fought and won as long as the ratings hold up? Really focuses on the way some elements of the media will abuse and distort anything in order to get broadcastable material. First rate writing by Adriano Shaplin and great acting by all four members of the company. Steve Garling plays Silent German Classics (Garage): It is so rare these days to get the opportunity to see silent movies with live accompaniment that I was glad of the chance. Mind you I made several assumptions about the show that turned out to be wrong. Firstly I assumed the same film or films would be shown every night. Secondly I assumed the prints from which the video was made would be of reasonable quality, but if you're talking about early films you have to take what you can get. Thirdly I assumed the film would have English sub-titles to accompany the German captions; and fourthly I assumed Garling would be a keyboard player rather than a percussionist. However none of this really detracted from the experience. Dance Base 1st Moves (Dance Base): There are some reviews you have to write, some you do the company a favour and don't write, and some you just are not sure if you should write. This falls into the last category. In two parts with two sets of choreographers and dancers we start off with Honey you're a Pig, a story of preparation for a birthday party. Let there be no mistake Rosie Kay and Daniel Yamada are fine dancers but I found the whole thing too gimmicky with dancing with a raw egg in the mouth and the dancers smearing each other with egg and flour. By contrast TV Dinner, which from what I could see had nothing to do with TV dinners, choreographed by Thomas Small and danced by him and Tina Carey and Emma Clark suffered from an over zealous lighting designer. All this needed was someone to turn the lights on at the start and off at the end. I think there was some great dancing on stage. I just wish I'd been able to see it. Count Arthur Strong's Forgotten Egypt (Gilded Balloon Cowgate): Doing things badly to get laughs isn't easy and Steve Delaney's portrayal of Count Arthur Strong isn't to everyone's taste. For those who have not met him the Count is about 60, runs an obviously useless Academy of Excellence "just like RADA" in Doncaster and is here to give us a lecture that will go wrong and he manages to get touched up by a coat hanger, does a disastrous cooking lesson, and fails to deliver his lines properly. About 5 members of the audience found it so dull they walked out. In contrast I was worried that the two guys sat next to me were going to wet themselves within the first few minutes such was their laughter, a 10 year old at the end of the row was laughing throughout (so the humour can't have been that sophisticated), and the woman in front of me had to get out a handkerchief to wipe away the tears of mirth. The Count is to lecturing what Tommy Cooper was to magic, has the unworldliness of Steve Coogan's Alan Partridge - but where Partridge is annoying the Count is simply endearing - and has some incisive word play the Marx Brothers would have been proud of. I think he's a comic genius. You might think he's crap. The NRG Theatre Company, Fear of Fanny (Garage): No, it's not some deep piece about misogyny among some sections of the gay community but as the sub-title makes clear is "The Life and Supper Times of Fanny Cradock", one of the earliest TV cooks. Caroline Burns Cook, who is far too young, makes an acceptable Fanny (stop tittering at the back) and David Slack does Johnny perfectly in this excellent new play by Brian Fillis. Their lives were far more interesting than I realised, with Fanny deliberately appearing on TV as an "imperious Edwardian harpy" and Johnny, to whom she was not married, as her henpecked husband. It told of how this 1930s vacuum cleaner seller became a TV icon of the 50s and 60s, teaching a nation that had come through wartime rationing that food could be more interesting, how her style was all an act, and there was a hidden side to her life. Her downfall came in 1976 when she went into character once too often in a disastrous performance on That's Life. It is clear from talking to Fillis that there were two entirely different plays he could have written and I hope that, in time, he writes the other as it would be interesting to compare them, but make no mistake this is a gem of a play. The Other Tongue & Third Stage, Ride (Assembly Rooms): This could have been so close to being total rubbish but was instead brilliant and enthralling. In this new play by Jane Bodie a couple meet in the morning in bed together, remembering little of the night before or anything of what they got up to between the sheets. With clever dialogue that is both fine and witty we explore the nature of memory, what we remember or forget, and why. LamatDance, Journey (Garage Chapiteau): I first saw Carmen Vilches and her choreography last year and was captivated. Could she follow it up this year with a full length show? You bet. Quite simply her choreography has come on by leaps and bounds, small delicate hand movements, and beautifully coordinated bodies flowing all over the stage. The first piece, Libra, has elements of flamenco and is a well put together piece for five dancers. To show this is not a one off she follows it up with a very different but just as good dance with Mujar. I have a bit of a criticism of I Don't Agree and that's because it's described as a work in progress which presumably means Vilches is not happy with it. I don't know why. There are choreographers who would sell their soul to the devil and agree to be kneecapped just to come up with something half this good in their entire careers. The last time I saw an entire programme of dance by an English based company that came close to the quality of this was the time before last I saw Rambert. Portrait Productions, The Last Man in Europe (Hill Street): On going into the gents before the show I found myself standing next to Orwell. I found it somewhat disconcerting but nothing like the time I found myself in similar circumstances stoop next to Hitler. This tells the story of George Orwell and his life from his schooldays to the end. I felt the early parts were a bit weak as it didn't capture the intellectual depth of Orwell, but it picked up and turned into quite a good biography. The Red Room & The Bush, Stitching (Traverse): My god this was hard work but very good. It wasn't helped by jumping backwards and forwards in time. I knew it was going to be good within seconds when before a word had been uttered I knew we had two people on stage who had trouble with their relationship. Stu (Phil McKee) is told that Abby (Selina Boyack) is pregnant. They originally met when she was a mature student doing a spot of whoring to make money but how the relationship developed was never really made clear. What was explored in considerable detail was the nature of human sexuality, what is allowed, and what is taboo. I'm not even going to go near what the "stitching" of the title is about. Use your imagination. St Kylie's Love Hospital, Lesbian Launderette (Gilded Balloon Cowgate): I only went to see this because The Guardian saw fit to condemn this show without seeing it. A transgender assistant manager of a Launderette wants power and murders her boss. If you are thinking Macbeth here you'd be right but it's not so much Shakespeare as Carry on Macbeth, with two character called Marge and Tina purely to get a laugh at the song "Don't Cry for me Marge and Tina". In fact the last time I saw this trick used was in a Carry On film. Not really my type of thing but with plenty of laughs particularly if your familiar with Macbeth. I think I was the only person to get some of the gags. Tiny Dynamite & The Bull Theatre, Jack Pleasure (C Venue): Oh I do love theatre that leaves you thinking "just where is this going" and then right at the end the penny drops and you think "yes, of course" so I loved this play by Aidrian Berry. It starts off as a fairly superficial story of Terry (Andy Fox), a 36 year old coach driver who has ambitions of being a porn star, his father Bill (Tony Collins) who is one of those guys who can't realise that now he no longer works at the bike factory the factory doesn't matter. Terry's ex-wife Susan (Lucy Ward) turns up as does his aunt Brenda (Lynne Austin) who has a somewhat ambiguous relationship with Bill. But what starts out light gets very deep and culminates in scenes about the nature of relationships between father and son, husband and wife. The final words in this are "What do you say?" I say yes. *from Gordon Ashenhurst Making a very welcome debut at the Edinburgh Festival this year was Kandi Kane. The cross-dressing "native New Yorker" has already been compared to comedy legend Joan Rivers, and expectation was understandably high. But the daring, darling diva didn't disappoint. Looking like Barbie on speed, she put on a show that was absolutely superb. Earlier, before her act, as she handed out flyers for tonight's performance, I informed her I already had tickets. She ruefully remarked "Oh, you have no taste". Complete nonsense; she was outstanding. Equally as delightful was Craig Hill - a delicious slice of camp, who endeared the varied audience (yeah okay, married couples and old people) who he bragged belonged "to a certain class - working class". His cheeky, energetic entrance, whereby he ran riot among the whooping crowd, was sheer pleasure and set the pace. The hour long set (despite a late start) showcased an incredibly sharp wit that never failed to charm and enthrall. With his distinct brand of homegrown humour, he more than "fair raised the tone" of the audience. He had them in the palm of his hands. However, having to try harder was "comic" Scott Capurro. The sinewy American is an extremely talented TV presenter, but was tonight for stand-up comedy what Mariah Carey has so far been to profitable Hollywood movies. Almost immediately heckled, his set was depressingly underwhelming. Never quite recovering from the initial disruption, he seemed to be uncomfortable on stage and tried too hard. One particular low-point was his insistence on jumping around is his "I'm so eccentric and interesting" desperation to connect with his audience. He just didn't quite make it, which is a shame as the man has the talent to be better than he was tonight. E-mail: gordon_1984@hotmail.com from Richard Wilson BOOK FESTIVAL The Edinburgh International Book Festival goes from strength to strength. Highlight of the first week for me was Liz Lochhead, star Scottish poet and playwright (who can forget her Perfect Days?) reading from her own work and that of Edwin Morgan. She had the audience spellbound with her thoughts on childhood and life and death. Also playing to a full house was Alan Bennett introducing his new work The Laying On Of Hands. he was deliciously funny and moving - and he finds the Scots warmer than the English, apparently. Treats to come in the last week include: Ian Rankin, Muriel Gray, Roddy Doyle, Roger McGough, Irvine Walsh and Sandi Toksvig. So, get yourselves down to Charlotte Square Gardens. ---------------------------------------------------------------- Filth ===== More filth than you can wave a stick at from these nice perves at MPG this month. Mind you, it wasn't a stick I've been waving following a quick flick through this lot (with a little bit of rewinding to make sure that I wasn't imagining things). First up is EuroBoy Hard - Boys With Big Cocks. And this is exactly what it says on the box!Personally, I think most of the guys could do with a square meal, but then I do prefer the chunky twinks. Then there's Jude's Law, a lusty little number shout in South Africa. To be honest, I only had a chance to look at the box and it seems to be all white lads - but they all seemed jolly cute. And this is confirmed by the smile on the face of the chap who has returned my copy just in time for publication. Anyway, we have the usual 4 VHS copies of each to give away to readers. You know the score by now: postcards to ScotsGay, PO Box 666, Edinburgh. EH7 5YW with your name and address on and an indication of which video you would prefer. Justin Milne E-mail: justin@scotsgay.co.uk --------------------------------------------------------------------- Glaschu/Glasgow ================ Salutations and felicitations gentle folk. Just to remind anyone who missed it summer has arrived in our fair city. The easy way to remember is cold and raining equals summer, cold and snowing equals winter! Forget spring and autumn only posh folk get them. Truly it has to be said the weather has been terrible. As in all things to do with the LGBT community, money is the biggest issue and problem. There is never enough and laying hands on the little that exists has proved difficult and time consuming. You may come to recognise this as a hobby horse of mine over time. But I think it is rooted in the current facilities on offer at the LGBT Centre at 11 Dixon Street, opposite the Fat Boabs pub. Despite best efforts and great dedication from the board and volunteers, the premises are far from ideal. First and foremost it serves as a community centre. Yet is not considered in the same light as other community centres by the City Council. We deserve more, especially given the estimated size of our numbers in Greater Glasgow and should be receiving a whole lot more in the way of direct funding and other financial aid. It's all very well the council preaching tolerance and equality. But let's see them put up or shut up. We pay council tax and we vote, we deserve equal consideration in all things. A brand new 'MEN ONLY' club will be opening in Glasgow on Fri 20th Sep. Though the question has been raised about the legality of said door policy. Time will no doubt tell on this point. Brian Johnston, one of the promoters, has been very forthcoming about his vision for the B.U.R.L.Y club. He thinks that the time has come for a gay club run by gays for gays, much in the same way that Revolver Bar has improved the choice of pubs in the city centre. This may well be it and indeed the start of a great deal more. BURLY Nights are aimed at the more mature members of the scene i.e. over 25's, so screaming scene queens, disco bunnies and twinkies need not apply. The aim of the club night will be to create a 'cruisy' atmosphere where Bears, guys into Uniform, Rubber, Leather, Industrial and Denim can meet. So this is one place working clothes are definitely encouraged. Builders and mechanics, policemen and city types in sharp suits and crisp linen shirts. Not to forget the leather clad bikers and those who deem rubber the perfect all weather wear (especially this summer!). So where is it at? I hear you cry. 'The Big Joint', South Street, Glasgow (8 minutes from the city centre). Has four distinct areas: bar, dance, cruise area and chill out room. There are ample changing facilities, club security staff and a reliable taxi service. According to Brian, "We felt it was vital that we got the venue right. Friends and I have been bemoaning for years the fact that Glasgow doesn't have a club that caters for gay men over 25 who want to openly cruise each other, socialise and have a beer". If you are looking for a night without hen parties and breeders cluttering up the best seats and the dance floor, this could be for you. So it's not smack bang in the middle of the city. Well guess what nothings perfect in life. In this case effort is rewarded, it's a great venue and the drinks prices mean a round will not end up resembling the Guatemalan national debt. There is plenty of parking space and the promoters will be running a bus on the night from the city centre to the venue. Contact details are as follows: E-mail address: dv8scots@hotmail.com. Website: http://www.dv8scots. co.uk/. Next date for fetish club Violate is Sat 14th Sep also at the 'The Big Joint'. Dress code is fetish or casual and black. No blue jeans no matter how dark they look and no t-shirts that look like leftovers from a package deal to Spain (unless of course they've got something really 'fetishy' on the front). Admission: UKP5 for members, UKP10 for non-members. Membership is UKP10 per year and can be bought at the door. Strictly no cameras, only the official Violate photographer allowed. The atmosphere is relaxed and drinks are reasonable priced. If you fancy a preview, check out the website at: http://www.violate.co.uk/ Anyone looking for cheap, nay, free entertainment in Glasgow could do far worse than sign up to the mailing list of the Glasgay organisation. Free and reduced admission to a wide diversity of events is available. But best of all instead of scouring the local rags for details, all the latest offers are E-mailed to you on a regular basis. E-mail: david.leddy@glasgay.co.uk or check out the website at http://www.glasgay.co.uk/To all those still not wired into the 21st century, may I suggest acquiring a free E-mail address from the numerous providers out in techie land and checking in occasionally via an internet cafe. The recent second cruise Doon the Clyde organised by volunteers at the LGBT Centre was a good night, I hear. Indeed such was the degree of gay abandon shown by some revellers that they were decommissioned for the rest of the weekend. No names mentioned but you know who you were. If any further trips are planned I shall let you know in good time, to allow the pressing of sailor suits and the practising of hornpipes. For those curious as to why there is no picture of me at the top of the page. It is simple: when I scare children and animals, I like to do it in person. Angharad E-mail: angharad@drink.demon.co.uk ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Time for T ========== One way or another, I seem to be focussing on the issue of coming out just recently. Now we all know how difficult and stressful this is at the best of times, but stop for a moment and consider the plight of the transgendered. For us, it's a little like having to spend the rest of your days with "QUEER" tattooed on your forehead. At least lesbians, gay men and bisexuals look perfectly ordinary in their day-to-day life and can maintain a degree of privacy and anonymity, but us trannies are forced to broadcast our difference. It still astounds me that so many people, even within the LGBT community assume that being transgendered is a choice! I remember well the first time I came out to anyone, before my transition. I was working in a school office, the only male in the workforce. Over coffee one morning, one of my colleagues bemoaned the fact that there was no gossip in the school, so, taking a deep breath, I announced that I knew something that nobody else knew. I kept them all hanging on until coffee the following day before I took it a step further. Asking if everybody knew of the odd-one-out round on Have I Got News For You. I discovered that everyone knew what I was talking about. So, I says, here are your four to choose from Lily Savage, Dana International, Hayley from Coronation Street, and me. Most of them knew that I had been involved in entertainment in the past, and took the obvious, but wrong, line. In the end I said Lily Savage is the odd one out. She's a transvestite, the rest are transsexuals. After the obligatory stunned silence, someone asked "have you always wanted to be a woman?" to which I replied "No, I always have been a woman!" Beyond that, they were very supportive and interested, although it was significant that I wasn't asked back to further fill the vacancy after the school holidays. My family were somewhat less tolerant, and apart from my son (who is actually in the army!) they haven't spoken to me since the day I told them. Although I guess that's not unique. On the good news front, I have just been elected as transgender rep on the steering committee of the lesbian, gay and bisexual group within my union. Until now they have firmly resisted including the transgendered as members in their own right, but I suspect that this appointment means that the situation is about to change. Watch this space! Finally, not so much a joke as a thought: If you want to be guaranteed to see a man in a skirt, there are two places you can go. A transgender group meeting, or a Burns Night! Keep smiling. Andrea ----------------------------------------------------------------------- dance chart =========== 1. MOBY EXTREME WAYS (Junior Jack's Club Mix /John Creamer & Stephane K Remix) (Mute) 2. THE THRILLSEEKERS DREAMING OF YOU (Mike Monday Remix) (Data) 3. CELEDA LET THE MUSIC LIFT YOU UP (Flatline Definition Of House Mix) (Global Harmony) 4. MONA LISA BORN TO SYNTHESIZE (Praha Remix) (White Label) 5. DAVID ALVARADO - POLYGONS (Ovum) 6. JAY J & CHRIS LUM ROOTS ROLL CALL (Peace Division Vocal Mix) (Vibrant) 7. JOHN 'DNR' ALVAREZ BEFORE THE STORM (DNR's Mix) (Deep Vision) 8. 1 GIANT LEAP MA' AFRICA (W.O.S.P. Thru The Jungle Mix) (Palm Pictures) 9. CHRISTOPHE D'ABUC : D'Abuc v Da Prodigy - Climbatize (White Label) 10. CHRISTIAN E.F.F.E. & NIKI B MEKKANIKA (Paolo Kighine Remix) (Premier Sounds) 11. SUBTECH TRY ME (Subtech) 12. CHRIS LUM GET CONNECTED EP : Can We Get Connected? (Nightshift) 13. SYSTEM F DANCE VALLEY THEME 2001 (REMIXED) (Vince Fontaine Remix) (Tsunami) 14. MAURITIUS (MARC O'TOOL) SOMEBODY TOLD ME /NACHTFLUG (Tune Inn) 15. PROTOTYPE LA CALDERA REMIXES (Nils Hess /900AF Remix) (Tune Inn) 16. DJ ENCORE featuring ENGELINA I SEE RIGHT THROUGH TO YOU (Serious) (Adam Dived Dub) 17. RALPHIE B MASSIVE (D Ramirez Remix) (Data) 18. NOVACHENTO ARIEL A9 (Mr G Remix) (Novachento) 19. ROLAND KLINKENBERG CELLOPHANE (Ian Wilkie WM 2002-dub) (Additive) 20. L.S.G. GODDESS (Superstition) ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Scotsdyke ========= Top telly tip ------------- Rachael Stirling (Othello, Bait), Keeley Hawes (The Beggar Bride, Our Mutual Friend), Jodhi May (Last of the Mohicans, The Mayor of Casterbridge) and Anna Chancellor (Four Weddings and a Funeral, Pride And Prejudice ) star in Tipping The Velvet, an Andrew Davies adaptation of the acclaimed novel by Sarah Waters. Produced by Sally Head Productions for BBC TWO, Hugh Bonneville and John Bowe also star in the three-part drama which begins production this week. Set in England in the 1890's, Tipping The Velvet is a colourful, passionate and entertaining love story about Nan Astley (Rachael Stirling), a heroine as appealing and charismatic as Elizabeth Bennet in Pride and Prejudice. As she grows into womanhood, Nan realises that she is attracted to women, not to men - and it leads her into a series of adventures which recall that earlier heroine Moll Flanders. Says Andrew Davies "Sarah Waters writes from a deep understanding not only of the great Victorian writers, but also the underground literature of the time - the pornographic fiction and the private memoirs of men and women who revealed the truth about what men and women thought and did in the later years of the 19th century. She also writes with an extraordinary, gutsy zest for life in all its often comic complexity, especially the sexual life. The effect of this is sometimes shocking, but always illuminating and life-enhancing." The glamorous world of 19th century music hall provides the backdrop for Nan's first love affair with Kitty, (Keeley Hawes), a popular male impersonator music hall star. They become a double act both on and off stage, but their manager Walter (John Bowe) wins Kitty's hand as she ultimately chooses the safety of a traditional life rather than risking the public disapproval of her true feelings for Nan. Devastated, our heartbroken heroine takes to the streets to survive, in her guise as a male impersonator, and finds a niche in the Victorian sexual underworld. She is also drawn to Florence (Jodhi May) but feels unable to tell her the truth about her secret street life. Instead, she is spotted by the wealthy widow, Diana Lethaby (Anna Chancellor), a woman in her thirties who lives by her own rules - utterly amoral, capricious and predatory. She introduces Nan into a world of luxury and debauchery and Nan virtually becomes her sexual slave. When Nan is eventually thrown back on the streets, destitute and starving, she searches for Florence, who is initially deeply mistrustful, but a strong bond develops between them that blossoms into real and lasting love. Jane Tranter, Controller of Drama Commissioning for the BBC says " Tipping the Velvet is a dazzling and provocative drama, with Andrew Davies on top form. It's a remarkable portrait of a world and characters not familiar to most people. We're thrilled to be bringing such a powerful adaptation of Sarah Waters' book to BBC TWO." Sally Head, whose previous credits include such outstanding dramas as Cracker, Prime Suspect and Band of Gold is executive producer with Gareth Neame, Head of Independent Drama Commissioning for the BBC. Sally says "Tipping the Velvet is unlike any other drama I've worked on...the emotional and visual extremes of the story wrap around each other so that it is compelling, startling and sometimes shocking. Andrew Davies script is simply the best, serving Sarah Waters' beautiful novel in a way that makes my toes curl." Tipping The Velvet, made by Sally Head Productions for the BBC, is produced by Georgina Lowe (The Mayor of Casterbridge, Topsy-Turvy) and directed by Geoff Sax ( Othello, Clocking Off). --------------------------------------------------------------------- Scottish Media Monitor ====================== Garry Otton on the Senseless Scottish Censors The new chief censor, president of the British Board of Film Classification, who decides what you can or cannot watch, is civil servant 58-year-old Sir Quentin Thomas. As a more conservative operator than his predecessor, he has already suggested Parliament should state its views on regulation more clearly, but should we really be encouraging them? After the relaxation of rules allowing more horny videos, he is already wondering if this is what the public really wanted. (Of course it is)! And while Edinburgh is being entertained everyday by dozens of provocative performers, including two men contorting their cocks into household items, and a dance involving a young derelict engaging with a prostitute at the Edinburgh Festival, we have Glasgow City Council and its quasi-judicial licensing board, convened by moral campaigner, Jim "call me Mary Whitehouse" Coleman, deputy leader of Glasgow City Council, putting his quite considerable weight behind all the usual constraints and legislation already regulating morality in this country, (At council taxpayers' expense, of course). Coleman is also the convenor of the council's working group on prostitution. His attempt to ban clubs that are otherwise legal in Edinburgh, like lap-dancing clubs or saunas offering sex, could put all Glasgow's female sex workers out on the street or working in private houses, leaving them vulnerable to violence, drug dealers and pimps. He is also damaging Glasgow's reputation as a progressive, modern city in Europe. This licensing board has, in the past, chalked up some dubious moral 'victories', like banning Monty Python's The Life of Brian and Ken Russell's The Devils, even though the latter was widely available in video shops by the time their ban was reinforced in 1990. Coleman's recent re-election for deputy leadership went ahead completely unopposed. Sooo very Glasgow! Quite apart from the media, proselytising, lecturing, moralising and operating as holier-than-thou guardians of our morality, we also have a Parliament and a string of local authorities, impregnated with religionists, bowing to the Church's every whim. God help us! But with all the weight of moral order imposed on Glasgow, it has done nothing to knock it off the top of Europe's charts for sexual disease and teenage pregnancy. Along with everything else, Scotland has a tradition of wealthy individuals wreaking havoc on what's left of freedom of choice. No, this time it's not Brian Souter and his UKP2million handout to support a piece of homophobic legislation that would never have stood up in law anyway, but another businessman. Michael Anthony, a 48-year-old business consultant who wants to mount a legal challenge in the sheriff courts aimed at closing down Edinburgh's sex saunas. He has been busily obstructing sexual reform in Edinburgh for some years now and was reported to have already lodged objections for the renewal of the licences of around 20 sauna premises. Interestingly enough, Mr Anthony has, in the past, received a three-month prison sentence for threatening a woman at knifepoint and demanding sex. Fortunately for him, he received community service after telling judges he suffered from asthma. It seems Scotland is always being encouraged to evoke more censorship. The Sunday Mail reported how two businessmen wanted to open a sex shop in Aberdeen. It's "only a stone's throw from the city's docks and red-light area", the paper gasped before advising: "Objections must be sent to the council within 28 days". It seems a poor show that to support the absurd efforts of Jim Coleman's attempts to ban lap-dancing clubs like Spearmint Rhino in Glasgow, The Herald had to go all the way to America, seeking, not so much "one of the world's leading feminst thinkers" as they described her, but the opinion of the highly controversial anti-pornography campaigner Andrea Dworkin. With hysterical references to Marquis de Sade, Sudanese women slaves and a Californian rapist who cut the arms off a teenage girl before throwing her a $10 bill, Dworkin did nothing to provide evidence that women were the duped, weak-minded, gullible fools she seemed to think they all were. Men do not think that women "have no brains, no hearts, no lives worth living" and lap-dancing is not just for "the poor, the abused, the hopeless". Why deny women a choice? I can't think of anything more sexist. Dworkin wrote that the work was "more deadening and boring than any assembly line in any factory". What do the lap-dancers themselves say about this? Had anyone asked? By banning lap-dancing because it leads to violence against women is a cover for more sinister moral crusades. The shocking spectacle of so-called feminists linking arms with religionists to ban 'pornography' and embark together on other moral crusades is nothing new. It led to the establishment of the National Vigilance Association and their quest to purify the nation of 'vice' in the 1880s, which, in turn, led to the extension of state controls into the realms of private morality. If violence against women really was the concern of the licensing board, why then does not Mr Coleman do more to ensure women, be they lap-dancers or sex workers, are better organised and protected against misdemeanours in the workplace? There is precious little evidence that men in lap-dancing clubs are harming women, and even if that were the case, I would rather see these men exposed than hidden away behind closed doors. When men and boys start making sexual connections watching women gyrate artistically round poles, they are learning a little more about foreplay than they might otherwise have known. After a few exhibitions from a lap-dancer, I would expect Joe McBlow to give a little more than a five-minute, wham-bam, thank you ma'am, under his Debenham's brushed cotton duvet. How dare Dworkin accuse men of 'using pornography'! She herself uses 'pornography'. Only in this case, she uses it make a case for denying women their right to choose. Jim Coleman should stop wasting taxpayers' money; meddling in issues of morality and concentrate on offering essential services. It never ceases to surprise me how even such puerile demonstrations of erotica are guaranteed to have even the most egalitarian commentators steadying themselves on the handrail of censorship. Tremors rumbled through the Scotland's liberal underworld with Muriel Gray's announcement in the Sunday Herald: "So when reading the dignified comments of Jim Coleman, speaking on behalf of Glasgow City Council, still the only council in the UK to have refused a licence to Spearmint Rhino, I wanted to cry with relief". What was neglected, portraying - as the Daily Record did - such a sensational headline as: "Monk in gay porn scandal", was the story of a vulnerable individual left to the mercy of a wacky religious cult. It is bad enough that the Catholic Church's so-called 'moral leaders' are so out of touch with the majority of Catholics. (They will claim those now deserting the Church in their droves are the ones who are out of touch). But it is even worse when Catholic extremists buy their own island to practise their bizarre cult. The Transalpine Redemptorists on the Orkney island of Papa Stronsay have, in the past, ordered female archaeologists working on the island to cover themselves with ankle-length skirts and long sleeved shirts. (Zilch marks for tolerance). Now they have disciplined a young novice for attempting to follow a more natural 'calling' after he went to a cyber cafe in Kirkwall and surfed some erotic gay sites. Now, I don't know if he was looking for sites with bare arse, cock, a long-term partner, sexual health advice or just to find out what it feels like to kiss another man on the lips. It doesn't matter. He was 20-years-old f'r chrissakes and his hormones were kicking in! Had this been in Glasgow's easyInternetCafe in St Vincent's Street he would have joined queues of gays and bisexuals surfing gay.com late into the night for all the above and more. No, instead, he popped into the Support Training cyber cafe in Kirkwall on the Orkneys in his cassock and asked for a private stall. Why private? Well, he was never likely to drop the years of shame he had attached to sex in a Catholic environment along with his pants, was he? And it was not as though he could've slipped out of his cassock into a pair of 501's and a baseball cap in the middle of Kirkwall! My accusing and sometimes opinionated finger points firmly at Support Training Ltd., based in Edinburgh. Staff at their cyber cafe at Kirkwall called the police after they invaded the lad's privacy by checking what sites the novice had accessed once he'd left the cafe. I think their censorial actions will have lost them a lot of business. And quite rightly so too! The police claimed to have no interest in the case because no law had been breached, but with the story leaked to the press, the damage to a vulnerable young man had already been done. The order of monks issued a statement: "On July 11 an aspirant member of this community was seen using an Internet cafe in Kirkwall where he viewed images of a homosexual nature. Naturally, on learning of this incident through the discreet report of a concerned member of the public (for which we are most grateful) as well as through the young man's own admission, the latter was immediately disciplined... Our Catholic religion condemns as sinful all viewing of immodest pictures, whether televised, on film, in print or on the Internet..." More ominously, The Orcadian reported: "The community of monks have said they will assure that the novice receives their full support, as well as the 'professional assistance' he has requested in order to overcome his 'difficulties'." What "support" could these Catholic monks possibly give this young man? With concerns having already been raised over Scotland's shockingly high rate of male suicide, what help are we prepared to give this vulnerable young man? With no gay bars on Orkney, are we likely to read of his arrest in a Kirkwall 'cottage' before long or will this be just another statistic of a life lost? Praising the way his staff behaved, the over-vigilant general manager of Support Training, Tommy Sutherland told The Orcadian that measures had always been in place to prevent the viewing of explicit material and that the cafe was well supervised with plenty of staff on hand. "The two coin-operated machines are protected so if someone is looking to go into unsavoury sites, it would be very difficult for them". Referring to the case, he said: "In the end it was passed to the people we felt needed to know". If anything happens to this young man, I just hope Mr Sutherland gets to know too. Garry Otton will be speaking at the National Union of Journalists headquarters, 308-312 Gray's Inn Road, (close to Kings Cross) in London on Saturday, 7 September 2002. 'Reporting the Vulnerable'. 11.15 until 4.15pm. For more information contact Terry Williams (williams.t@blueyonder.co.uk). Garry Otton's book SEXUAL FASCISM is published by Ganymede Books priced UKP8.99. garry@scottishmediamonitor.com Read Scotland's newspapers online: http://www.scottishmediamonitor.com/. cut it out! ----------- * Gillian Ferguson in The Scotsman: "I'd like right here, to reclaim the phrase 'family values' - these should be love, support, respect, passion, compassion, fun and tolerance, the very antithesis of what it has come to mean". * Snapped up by numerous media outlets admiring her retrenched opinions. Homophobic, Catholic, and Conservative-supporting Mrs Katie Grant on "Why the iron has a special place in the hearts of so many women" in the Scottish Daily Mail: "During crises (frequent) I can always be found in the laundry room. My husband says that's where I am happiest. I say, 'oh no. Of course not,' but actually he is right... It is a great way of working off pent-up aggression (when I am cross I put the iron on 'linen' and flatten everybody's knickers)... Standing in front of the ironing board, we women look so virtuous, quite above reproach in fact, who on earth would dare criticise a domestic goddess with an iron in her hand... Women of the world unite... Stand by your ironing board and it will do more than stand by you..." Oh, for goodness sake, slap her, someone! * Mrs Katie Grant in The Scotsman on modernising her beloved Conservative Party: "I, for one, am furious..." * Mrs Grant on the late Diana, Princess of Wales in The Scotsman: "...because Diana's moods were as changeable as the weather, apropos a memorial structure, it has always been far from clear as to which would be more appropriate, a shrine or a health warning... Diana's so-called friends couldn't organise a maypole on a village green. Time to sack them all before the hapless princess's memory becomes as tarnished as her life". Meeooow! * Gay-obsessed Gerald Warner on Tory leader Ian Duncan Smith's attempt to kick the Tories into this century in Scotland on Sunday: "Where the flap of white coats is most clearly audible in the IDS agenda is in the stampede to recruit openly homosexual candidates. Since male homosexuals account for 3% of the electorate and majority of Tory voters is hostile to them, Baldrick's cunning plan appears to be to attract 1% more voters, while alienating around 20%. Clever stuff, eh?" Stampede? Horses' hooves? There, there, Mr Warner, time for your medication. * John MacLeod in the Scottish Daily Mail: "...I am up to my pink elbows in baking. I'm actually rather a good baker... My mammy is banned from the home until I'm finished. It's a Delia Smith recipe". * John MacLeod in The Herald: "Our present MSPs burble with idealistic platitudes. These are glorified social workers who want to build a new Jerusalem, as cheaply as possible, and run around involving themselves in things that are none of any state's business: a private bank's deal with Pat Robertson, or Mike Tyson's visit to Glasgow". One endorses unrestrained homophobia and the other was found guilty of rape. Has being gay taught this man anything? * A 'straight' man writing to Old Mother (Joan) Burnie on his love of the gay lifestyle in the Daily Record: "But a guy cornered me in the gents last week and said if I wasn't part of 'the scene', I should get lost". In any doubt now that her letters might be hoax? Burnie replies: "You're cruising in their territory like a tourist in a red-light district. If you just behave normally, I'm sure they talk to you about the meaning of life and all that". ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dun Eideann/Edinburgh ===================== Hello, hello, my little darlings, and what fun and frolics we're getting treated to in the month of August! Late licences are keeping all bars and clubs busy with a lot of establishments having various theme nights. Planet Out has its usual line up of fun this month but the emphasis and energy of the staff will be focused on the charity night they have coming up on 22nd Aug for Positive Voice - a self help organisation for people living with or affected by HIV/AIDS. Entry is free and each guest will receive a free glass of punch. Various drink promos will run throughout the night and the host will be resident drag act Miss Ima Whore who is fucking superb: Edinburgh's very own Lily Savage (on smack!). Various guest DJs will be taking turns in spinning those records - DJs Maggie and Alan Joy and Trendy Wendy just to name a few. If you're feeling a tad horny then the joint will be jumping with testosterone as we are being treated to a bunch of male dancers by the name of BOYZOWN! Lesbians don't feel left out as they are trying to organise female dancers too! There'll also be a raffle with lots of goodies and good giveaways: rumour has it the jackpot is a holiday. Top of my list of pubs just now has to be the Newtown Bar a pub which is hidden away in Dublin Street. Yup, I know what a lot of you will be thinking - a place only asociated with old men and bears! Well, my little chickens, I am here to tell you it's not. If you haven't been there before go along to break the old routine. Whilst the upstairs is your average stereotypical pub which reminds me of a set in Albert Square, downstairs has recently been revamped and is sensational offering a variety of drink promos, a spacious dancefloor with excellent lighting and DJ equipment for their very own resident DJ - Malky. It's unbelievable the contrast with the 2 floors: it really is like two different places entirely! I tell you what, if you come along Wee Alan promises a dance with you especially if you are a tiger! Please note that women are now welcome too. Do you remember in my last issue I wished JOY happy 9th birthday? Well the event itself took place on the 3rd of August. Joy always is a stomper of a night and offers a more alternative/energetic way of clubbing. I would never say a bad word about the night itself as the DJs, staff, music and almost everything is fantastic but, guys, do something about those pig ignorant door staff you have as they are arrogant bastards on an ego trip. Yes, I am fuelled with bitterness as Wee Alan was refused entry to this occasion! The cheek of it! I didn't let refusal of entry dampen my spirits and was allowed access to good old reliable CCs. However, the doorstaff have a much more friendly and polite manner about them. In fact, I don't really think the doorstaff ever get a mention,so well done guys. I think they deserve a wee mention as they definitely have their work cut out and I know myself I have been in rather a few drunken states in there and sometimes think we wouldn't get away with that sort of shit anywhere else - especially in straight places where it seems like a concentration camp rather than a time to have fun. On the more relaxing side of things if you are looking to chill out then Townhouse sauna is the place to be. You know when you wake up in the morning and you stink of stale fags (and I don't mean cigs!) drink and sick? Well there is nothing better than getting all of those toxins and whatever else that's in your body sweated out of you! Staff in the Townhouse are friendly, cheerful, funny and appreciate their customers - a warm feeling simply oozes off them! On Sat 10th - Luvely hosted a beach ball which went down a storm at the Liquid Rooms. Pre club was at Habana which is always well received. Disco Inferno is always an entertaining night which takes place every so often at Ego: it's a sea of 70s and 80s dress code with the music a change from the usual club music. Next one coming up in Sept - always good for a laugh! Well darlings, I'm afraid that's it from me until next time. Hope you are all enjoying the Festival goings on - try and see Craig Hill he is funny as fuck! Ciao for now, Wee Alan E-mail: weealan@drink.demon.co.uk ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Dun-deagh/Dundee ================ It's been hot sticky and damp out on the scene recently. Whilst it certainly has not been sunny, the summer temperatures and busy crowds have kept fledgling nightclub 'Out' hot at the weekends. Is the air conditioning working? Hot also has been Charlie's whose air conditioning depends on whether the doors are open in the hope that someone gets a draught other than the poor bugger at the door. I would hate to see condensation dripping from the nicotine stained ceiling. Is this another refurbishment not yet finished? Whilst it has been hot sticky and damp in Brooklyn (I thought they had a/c), the dampness is thanks to a dyke who shall remain nameless deciding that she should pee on the stair carpet. Cheeky you may think - but she was already barred from the pub before the incident. Caught red handed and probably wet handed by an even grumpier than usual publican whom she offered twenty quid apparently for his trouble. She got it back when sober, as on the spot fines introduced by the Blair government are not yet law in the club! Next time you are tempted to go cruising, watch out for the pretty boy Police officers who may be there to catch you shagging or just to pay their mortgage with fines for breach of the peace or possibly breach of the Police. So why were two plainclothes police in the club last Saturday posing as husband and wife and watching everyone? I'm told they go round all the clubs, so next time I hope the Chief Constable sends in the pretty boys. With the end of the holidays, I suppose comes the end of shorts and revealing t-shirts on the streets of Dundee. It will also mark the return of the students to the University. Will they make their way along to 'Out' to provide some fresh talent so that the interbreeding is reduced. (Who is barman John with these days?) Even Assistant Manager Graham headed to Aberdeen for fresh trade during his weekend off. Apparently they were so busy in the club he was press ganged into working and he was 'well received' by all accounts. Customers of Charlie's may recall the days of the hostelry being called Devas. It was managed and controlled by Karen and her partner Ann both of whom were alleged to have fist throwing contests with customers. Now Ann, not content to be out of the failed Weavers Bar is to open a lesbian club. The not so little problem of finance has had her approach both straight and gay publicans and even a market trader with all sorts of incentives and inducements we hear. Will we see a second hand stall next to the cloakroom? Scene entertainment continues in the same bland format with only the fledgling DJ skills of bouncer Sarah aka Sash making a change. Covering for Ross's well earned holiday on Sundays, she has returned to door duties but is now available should any of the Ibiza clubs call. Ross's anything goes music was welcomed back by an enthusiastic group out celebrating Alan C's official birthday. The diamond merchant again showed us how to party. I have always found the movie "Priscilla - Queen of the Desert" almost as camp as Summer Holiday or On The Buses. Whilst all three feature buses, only the first has former Neighbours hunk, Australian Guy Ritchie in it. The singer who recorded the soundtrack is bringing her new dance versions of the hits to the UK at the end of the month. A bit of antipodean culture from American singer Charlene on a European Tour. International alliances which George Bush Jnr would be jealous of. Shafted ------------------------------------------------------------------- Obar Dheadhain/Aberdeen ======================= Hiya Bendy Boyz 'n' Girlz, Sunny Gay Grampian Here! (OK the sun's out while I'm writing this drivel) So summer's just about over and the nights a fair drawin' in, the sun-tan's startin' to fade (unless you're a sun-bed queen) and your hols are just a distant memory but do not despair cause it's still happening on the scene. Dust down yer wellies, dig the winter woollies and thermals from yer drawers and get out there clubbin'. Queerbashings We start with some not so good news from the Granite City. It seems that Aberdeen might not be as liberal as we thought. A group of what I can only describe as despicable bastards have started beating up on the LGBT Community. Now I'm not as naive as to think this hasn't happened before or doesn't happen often but recently attacks have increased. This is a worrying trend not only for us but the police as well. I spoke to the LGBT Officer based at the Queen St Headquarters and Sergeant Graham McLeod asked me to especially make the guyz who cruise the Duthie Park area aware that a number of attacks occurred during the first week of August, the attacks were all of a serious nature and have been reported. Another attack happened in the James Street area of the city and involved one attacker. So if you see an increased amount of police activity in the park, the gorgeous Boyz and Girlz in Blue are there for your protection and not to harass you. If you have any information regarding the attacks you can contact Sgt. McLeod or Constable Shona Grimmer (also an LGBT Liaison Officer) at Grampian Police Headquarters on Aberdeen (01224) 386471 or remote report to the PHACE SCOTLAND offices on (01224) 587166 and Grampian LGB Switchboard on (01224) 212600. I know for many people the thought of reporting an incident may be a daunting task so use us at the PHACE SCOTLAND - Grampian Gay Men's Health Project and we will assist you if you wish to make a statement or come forward with any information. Scene Stuff First let's quash a rumour--Castro's is not having difficulties with the insurance company and the architects and builders have visited the site and work will be starting shortly to rebuild the club. The roof has now been made safe but the opening may be a wee while away, as planning permission has to be obtained for some changes to the venue. So keep your eyes on the column for the opening date. Fidel's Bar is now much busier and keeps the same opening times as before. Free entry to the bar seven nights a week, with karaoke as and when you divas want it! (Just warn me first). Do you want to know who you'll be shagging over the next few months? Well the answer might be found at Fidel's on a Sunday afternoon with Paul's new Psychic Service, yip Tarot card readings have arrived, so if you really want to get a grip on what's ahead of you give it a try. Special drinks promos supported by the brewery and by Fidel's are ongoing as usual, as if you lot need an excuse to drink anyway (I include myself in that category as well), speaking of cats, all of Jason's pussies now have new homes so soz if you missed out. (I'll let you lot make your own jokes up) The old rumour mill has started up again--what is happening to OUT Clubbing? Is it closing at the end of the month or is it October? Just for you I've donned my dodgy trench coat, stolen a homburg and attached a feeble excuse of a moustache to bring you the latest update. I'm on the case like a disco bunny after a fresh bottle of poppers, our hapless private dick (no jokes please) asked Brian what is going on...He has confirmed that Out Clubbing is not closing and that a ten-year lease has been signed on the venue. As for the decor some of you have told me it's dull (and yip I have to agree), it looks like we will have to live with it for some time, but the venue will not be painted in, and I quote "gaudy colours like the other venue". When asked about the entry price increases Brian said if you want the personal appearances then they have to be paid for, prices have gone from UKP3 before midnight on a Wednesday to Friday to UKP4 and from UKP4 to UKP5 on a Saturday. So onto the important stuff, Who? What? and When? There is to be an appearance from Charlene who sung the theme tune from the fab movie 'Priscilla Queen of the Desert' on Friday August 30th and a further visit from Hannah Jones later in the year, you may remember her from before, when she sang her hit from Queer As Folk the last time she was in Aberdeen. Karaoke is now a feature on Sundays with free entry to the club before 9pm. Community News The next two meetings of the North East Equality Forum are on the 27th August at 8pm and then the 24th September at the new time of 7.30pm in the Aberdeen Arts Centre as normal. We have been looking at what the meetings are about and have decided that they need to be more inter-active (no smut involved-honest!). We are currently looking at a number of funding issues around a safety awareness project and trying to come up with a suitable design, so if you have an artistic bent come along (your so one track minded). If you would like to contact the Forum with points you would like to see raised before the next meeting please e-mail them to andy@andywebb.org.uk or bstone@socialwork. aberdeen.net.uk, Ab-Fab- Check the web-site for start up dates on http://www.ab-fab.org/. Granite Sisters - Check the group web-pages on http://granitesisters.tripod. com/for details, or contact Madge on (01224) 713336. 3G - Contact Gillian as per the Listings section. By the way seen some of the girlies out after the makeover session, and you all looked fantastic. North East Scotland Gay Group - First meeting on the 15th of September, the meeting to be held at the PHACE offices at 7.30pm. And finally For anyone looking to rent or let accommodation in the city a new LGBT friendly property management and letting agency; Property2c has just opened. I met with the owner and he is more than happy to offer free advice via the company's website at http://www.Property2c.net/or by phoning (01224) 872963 and ask for James. The company hopes to extend their services to include Edinburgh and Glasgow in due course. LGBT Singing Group - Have you a voice of granite? If so please disregard this bit! Paul and Leslie are looking for a good cross section of voices to form an LGBT Singing group, the aim is to have a first public appearance at the World AIDS Day Service on the 1st of December this year followed by a performance at next years Pride in Aberdeen. So if you want to give your vocal cords a work out contact Leslie at Phace Scotland on (01224) 587166. After recent events it is more important than ever to remember guyz 'n' girlz "Lets be careful out there" Luv, Hugs 'n' kisses Mark Thomson. markt@phacescotland.org ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Bi Vocal ======== Elsewhere in this product you'll find a review for 'Bisexual Alphabet', a one man tour-de-force by David Chapman. At the top of the show he distributes, amongst the audience, bits of paper with one of the 26 letters of the alphabet written on each. Then starting from A, he tells the story of Gilbert Jones and his coming(s) out. Making sense of one's own sexuality is rather like doing the 79 times table. A few maths geniuses can do it, but most of us give up. David Chapman is the bisexual equivalent of the master mathematician. Through coming to terms with his own sexual identity he has created a fictional character that can gradually do the same, and take an audience with him. The show is enlightening and very funny. "The story is fictional - but the ideas are real," smiles David, fresh from performing the show, "I created comic events that illustrate real feelings." 21 year old American David Chapman is a writer and performer. He is also one of only five students from the University of North Carolina to receive a Burch Fellowship, which allow students to pursue self-designed creative projects, enabling him to come to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival with this World Premiere. The production was successfully received (in workshop form) in America, and he's thrilled to have this chance to bring it to Scotland. I ask David if, like me, he suspects that everyone is bisexual. "Maybe... active bisexuals have a better time - that's for sure." He smiles. Last month saw a change of hands at the Nexus Cafe in the LGBT Centre on Broughton Street. Big changes are afoot, and you'll read about them first in ScotsGay, so watch this space. You'll be pleased to know that the lovely Joe retains his glamorous job behind the counter, though you'll be sad to hear that Adam may be leaving soon for pastures new. He has secured employment with the Equality Network, who work for LGBT rights with the Scottish Parliament. Congratulations Adam! When's the party? Talking of Parties, JOY's 9th birthday bash was a spectacular success, even by JOY's own high standards. Unfortunately, there was far too much love in the room for this pair of eager bisexuals, so the pics we took were all, well, shite. Must talk the editor into getting me one of those sexy digital camera thingmies.... Never the less thanks to Alan for letting us in (Alan hasn't aged a day for years has he?). As we go to press, BiCon 2002, is happening in Leicester. BiCon is the UK National Bisexual Convention, a fun long weekend for discussion of things somewhat related to bisexuality, sex and sexuality and for partying with like-minded people. If you want more details, about this, or for all things bisexual, go to http://bi.org/ That's all for now! Martin Walker E-mail: mgwuk@hotmail.com ----------------------------------------------------------------------- International News from Rex Wockner =================================== *Quebec gay bookstore to close The only gay bookstore in the Canadian province of Quebec will close at the end of August. Montreal's L'Androgyne has been on the scene for 29 years. Owner Bernard Rousseau blamed competition from chain stores. "How can one compete with Costco/Price Club?" he asked the local gay magazine Fugues. "Not even to mention virtual bookstores such as Amazon.com, which has an excellent selection and which frequently offers its books for less than L'Androgyne can." Rosseau also said video chain stores receive newly available gay-themed films before independent stores do. "The business model of the small gay and lesbian bookstores has become outdated," he told Fugues. "Gay and lesbian culture is now present everywhere and available in regular stores, and gay men and lesbians are not buying only gay products." *Canada to hold marriage hearings In the wake of a court ruling ordering Canada to let same-sex couples marry by July 2004, Prime Minister Jean Chrtien has announced that a parliamentary committee will hold national hearings on the issue. "It's a social problem which needs attention at this time and we want to have a committee to consult Canadians and experts," Chrtien said. "I could decide tomorrow, but there is a process in place. It's an extremely complex issue." The justice ministry is appealing the recent ruling by the Ontario Superior Court, which said not letting same-sex couples marry violates the nation's Charter of Rights and Freedoms. The decision came in the case of two couples who wed at the gay Metropolitan Community Church via the process of reading banns -- asking in church on three Sundays if anyone objects to the marriage, which is a legal way to marry in Ontario. They were given regular marriage certificates by pastor Brent Hawkes but provincial officials later refused to register the documents. As matters stand now, the court's ruling will become law on July 12th, 2004, if the federal Parliament has not legalized same-sex marriage by that date. *MARDI GRAS GOES BANKRUPT Sydney, Australia's huge gay Mardi Gras celebration has gone bankrupt. The organizing agency was placed in "voluntary administration" and all its activities were suspended. Last year's events lost $500,000 which organizers blame primarily on reduced travel following the 11 Sep terrorist attacks in the U.S. Organizers say they are confident they will find their way out of the mess and that the next parade will step off on schedule. *COURT ORDERS CITY TO STAGE PRIDE The human-rights tribunal in the Canadian province of British Columbia has ordered the small city of Terrace to proclaim and advertise Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Pride Day. The town's council had refused to do so. Terrace, population 13,000, is 930 miles north of Vancouver. The tribunal said the city council violated the provincial human-rights code when it rejected proclamation requests from the Rainbow B.C. Coalition and the Rainbow Committee of Terrace. *VANCOUVERITES MARCH Around 120,000 people turned out for Vancouver, Canada's gay-pride parade on 4th Aug. There were 150 parade entries. The posthumous grand marshal was Aaron Webster who was murdered in November in a cruisy section of Stanley Park, which abuts the city's gayest neighborhood. His killer or killers have not been caught. Federal Industry Minister Allan Rock marched and said he favors opening regular marriage to same-sex couples. *WEB SITE TARGETS HOMOPHOBES A new South African Web site lists allegedly homophobic public figures, institutions and companies, the SAPA news agency has reported. Among the first 34 entries are a life-insurance company that refused to pay benefits to a lesbian's life partner, an anti-gay church, and the current and former premiers of Western Cape province, where Cape Town is located. "We will not be silenced," said activist Juan-Duval Uys, a spokesman for the project. *DUTCH GAYS FLOAT Some 75 boat-floats turned out for Amsterdam's annual gay-pride parade on the city's canals. Israeli and Palestinian gays entered a boat for the first time. Another float featured "Marlene Dietrich" in a black bodice and fishnet stockings accompanied by studly men in top hats, tails and white gloves, Reuters reported. *KOREANS ORGANIZE Several South Korean gay groups have formed an umbrella organization called Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Korea, the Korea Times has reported. "The landscape surrounding the issue has changed so much over the last few years, but the movement has not. So we felt the need for a turning point, with an emphasis on priorities," said Kim Byung-suk, the group's secretary. Founding members include the gay groups Chingusai and Kirikiri and the Web sites Another Love and Safe Zone. South Korea heavily censors gay Web sites. For more information, see http://lgbtkorea.org/ *SOUTH AFRICAN COURT GRANTS SPOUSAL RIGHTS A full bench of South Africa's Constitutional Court has ruled that gay couples must receive the same workplace benefits as married couples. The ruling, which came in a case filed by a lesbian judge whose partner was denied spousal benefits, cited the nation's Constitution, which bans all discrimination based on sexual orientation. Another lawsuit is pending that activists predict will open up ordinary marriage to South African same-sex couples. The only country where gay couples can marry under the exact same laws as opposite-sex couples is The Netherlands, though several nations, mostly in Western Europe, have gay-partnership laws that grant registered same-sex couples up to 99 percent of the rights and obligations of marriage. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Films ===== by Malcolm Epstein Films to know about The most constantly revived Victorian play of all time that was filmed in l952 and has continually been repeated on TV has now been cleverly updated and "The Importance Of Being Earnest" (U) will be with us early in September. So many of us will know Oscar Wilde's comedy of the upper classes that detailing the plotline may not be essential. Former actor now director Oliver Parker has mostly enhanced the original by imaginatively relocating much of thedialogue to the street, a music hall, a restaurant and the countryside. Starring one of the very few leading men who has had the pluck to come out as gay, Rupert Everett, he and Colin Firth make the most of the Wilde brittle dialogue as does Judi Dench as Lady Bracknell. The advantage of the fifties film version was the extraordinary Margaret Rutherford as Miss Prism whose bizarre personality made you believe she could have left a baby in a leather holdall in a luggage office at a station while she went shopping. Oliver Parker makes the most of the fantasy world his heroine lives in by showing her hero through her eyes periodically wearing shining armour. But it disappointed me showing upper class Victorian girls, Reese Witherspoon and Frances O'Connor, smoking. And showing Frances having a tattoo on her backside was totally ridiculous and should have been left on the cutting room floor. Nevertheless most of Mr Parker's updating works beautifully and after the release bookings I am sure it will turn up on TV for another 5O years. "The Bourne Identity" (l2) is a quality thriller that kept me engrossed throughout. Matt Damon is floating unconscious in the Mediterranean and rescued by the crew of an Italian fishing boat. Nearly dead he carries nothing but some bullets in his back and a Swiss bank account number embedded in his hip. Gaining consciousness he is suffering from amnesia about his past. Yet he does have a knowledge of languages and a dynamic ability to win fights. A Zurich safe deposit box yields an assortment of passports, vast amounts of money, a gun and a Paris address plus a name - Jason Bourne. While he appears to have a past as a CIA agent he quickly finds people are eager to murder him. This one you must see. To convince myself I am lucky to be alive today I am intrigued by stories of life under Nazi occupation in the war and was amazed that "Charlotte Gray" with Cate Blanchett as a spy in France was not a bigger hit this year. November brings us "Safe Conduct" or "Laissez-Passer" about surviving in Paris in the war. Its hero is part of the resistance while working in the film industry and finds the ideal cover for his espionage in being employed by the German controlled Continental Films. If you can cope with subtitles you could be impressed. I am convinced a number of cinemagoers are sadists or masochists. Otherwise why would violent films do such good business? Early October brings us "My Kingdom" (l8) with Richard Harris getting bored with running Liverpool's underworld. When his wife is murdered he would like to retire abroad and leave his business to his three grown daughters. The youngest wants no part of such a sordid business. The two eldest would happily kill each other to control the millions. It has most kinds of violence you can name so it should do record business. "Sweet Sixteen" (l8) is for those who prefer teenage violence with a Scottish flavour. Leading boy Martin Compston finds his mother will be released from prison in time for his l6th birthday. He plans to do anything illegal to buy her a luxury caravan. But smalltime hoodlums in Greenock object to him on their patch and beat him up. Director Ken Loach has spent his life making films about the poorest sections of many communities going back to "Poor Cow" in l967. I wish he would realize wealthy people also have far more interesting problems. Nevertheless Martin Compston is an attractive discovery whom I hope Mr Loach keeps regularly employed. "Possession"(l2) is oneof the most intelligent films of the year, but it has no violence, gunfire or car chases so it probably wont be a big moneymaker. However, it captivated me. Gwyneth Paltrow, a brilliant academic, is researching the life of a Victorian poet Christobel La Motte (Jennifer Ehle), She meets a young American scholar, Aaron Eckhart, who is studying the lifeof another poet of the period , Randolph Henry Ash (Jeremy Northam) and they come across a cache of love letters that prove the two had a romance. Told in a series of flashbacks between Victorian Britain and today it has a constant electricity as the four leading cast members have enormous appeal. Miss Paltrow's impact onscreen is no surprise to most of us. Those of us who enjoy looking at sensational new masculinity could be mesmerised by Aaron Eckhart. As there is no Hollywood contract system anymore where potential stars are built up in a series of