SCOTSGAY MAGAZINE ================= ScotsGay is a monthly magazine for lesbians, gay men and bisexuals. Edited, printed and published in Scotland ScotsGay 80/- Heavy - Issue 59 - August 2004 ELECTRONIC EDITION ***Now available on the Web: http://www.scotsgay.co.uk/ How to Subscribe and Unsubscribe information is now at the END of the magazine. All Material Copyright (c) Pageprint Publishing Limited 2004. Permission is hereby given to distribute this material provided that this copyright notice is included and that distribution is specifically for non-profitmaking reasons. Distribution for profit must be done only with prior written consent of the magazine any deviation from this will be seen as an infringement of copyright. Hardcopies are limited to one per person for personal use only and such hard copies are subject to the same copyright restrictions as laid out above. The printed edition of ScotsGay is available by post at the following rates: 6 issue sub (UK & EC) GBP8 6 issue sub (Overseas) GBP15 12 issue sub (UK & EC) GBP15 12 issue sub (Overseas) GBP28 Make Cheques and POs payable to 'Pageprint'or 'ScotsGay' and send them to: Subscriptions ScotsGay Magazine PO Box 666 Edinburgh Scotland EH7 5YW Inside this issue: Editorial News Arts - Fringe Reviews Say Sorry Topping And Butch International Book Festival Behind The Scenes Edinburgh Glasgow Scottish Media Monitor Time For T - Granny's Tale Dundee Aberdeen International Voice Personals Boxes - The ScotsGay Meet Market Helplines Listings Venues --------------------------------------------------------------- EDITORIAL ========= As it's August and Edinburgh is full of them, it's time to talk about USAnians. Or at least New Jersey Governor James McGreevey. A man who came out to his electorate and promptly resigned. A married man, with a wife in total ignorance of his propensity to play hide the sausage with other men, the good Governor had managed to keep his closet firmly sealed. That was until he started shagging a younger man, Golan Cipel, who he installed, to public outcry, in a grace and favour job for which he was totally unqualified and to which he was totally unsuited. It was when he sacked him (and presumably broke off the relationship) that the closet door started to leak. Cipel suddenly found a lawyer, decided that he was straight, had been sexually harrassed by McGreevey and would only feel better and be able to face the world each morning if McGreevey compensated him and his lawyer with a shit load of USAnian dollars. And so, the Governor, whilst declining to pay, was finally honest to his wife, admitted all to an electorate shocked but not stirred and gave notice of resignation. Of course, we do it differently on this side of the Pond. Just look at Peter Mandelson's manly grip on the greasy pole of political preferment: EU Man of Trade at over GBP145K a year, plus GBP30K a year Brazilian allowance, round the clock personal executive transport and grossly obese pension. Now I know where I went wrong. I should have been a closet homosexual and have obtained a massive building society loan by deception. Oh well, at least I've never had to visit Hartlepool! John Hein E-mail: editorial@scotsgay.co.uk --------------------------------------------------------------- NEWS ==== *A Sporting Opportunity for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender People Whether you haven't thought of sport since that terrible egg and spoon race accident, or are a fanatical participant in every activity going; there's a great opportunity coming up for all lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people in Edinburgh and the Lothians. The LGBT Centre for Health & Wellbeing in partnership with the City of Edinburgh Council and LGBT Youth Scotland will be hosting an LGBT Sport & Recreation Day at Meadowbank Stadium, Edinburgh, on Sat 11th Sep. A wide range of activities will be available including; badminton, indoor climbing wall, trampoline, Tai Chi and yoga. You can also put a team together for basketball, 5 a side football and French Boules. One of the organisers, Allie Cherry, sees the day as a chance for people to try out different activities; "The LGBT communities have never before been targeted in this way. For some it will provide a much needed safe environment to check out ideas for hobbies or interests, while for everyone the day is set to provide a real alternative to the scene and routine leisure activities". There's a Youth Space for 13 to 25 year olds and also the chance for all participants to contribute to a consultation, which will inform future sport and recreation services and policies within the City of Edinburgh Council. With information stalls, promoting existing groups and a whole lot more to follow, if you're lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender and are up for trying a little bit of something new; come along to the day. *One Day To Change Your World So, just what DO LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) people do in their spare time? Hang out with friends? Go to the pub or club? At the LGBT Centre for Health & Wellbeing, 9 Howe Street, Edinburgh, a double-bill of an Open Day on 18th Sep, from 2-6pm, is set to provide a diverse range of opportunities a little bit different from the usual leisure time pursuits. The double-bill is to launch two ongoing projects in which ALL LGBT people living in Edinburgh and the Lothians can get involved. First up is Complementary Therapies which will allow people access, at affordable rates, to a choice of 13 therapies including; acupuncture, homoeopathy, Indian head massage and reflexology. Bookings can be made for a 12 week programme beginning late September and people can experience taster sessions and chat with the therapists. John Irving, co-ordinator, said; "Most complementary therapies can be utilised alongside conventional medicine and, whatever your state of health or lifestyle; provide a positive effect to your body mind and emotions". LGBT Active is the next big event of the day and launches a bulk of activities which don't all require leg-warmers, or sweatbands! Allie Cherry, Community Development Manager at the Centre, said; "LGBT Active takes in everything from music classes and art workshops to sports, yoga and community groups. The Open Day allows people to come along, check out what's going on and sign up for a little of what they fancy". Changing your world can be as simple as taking up a hobby, getting involved in something a bit different from the usual routine, or, through complementary therapies; a new way of finding the feel-good factor. If you'd like more information on Complementary Therapies and LGBT Active; further details can be found at http://www. lgbthealth.org.uk/ *ATTACKS AT GAILES BEACH One of the west coast of Scotland's Freedom beaches has become a victim of its own success. The numbers of people choosing to picnic, enjoy sex or swim and sunbathe naked in the dunes at Gailes beach, south of Irvine has been steadily growing, particularly amongst straight men and couples who recognise the area as a safe and private place to enjoy outdoor sex. One man who sometimes enjoys sex with men, confessed: "I have a wife and a girlfriend, but I love to have my cock sucked". Users of Gailes beach were ordered to cover up 11 years ago after a tabloid newspaper reported a security officer and policeman having sex in the dunes there. ScotsGay has now received reports of a gang of four youths armed with baseball bats attacking and robbing men. The attacks have occurred during the day. In the afternoon of Sat, 7th Aug a woman called the police after walking her dogs along a cycle path and hearing a man being attacked. She told police that a youth had ordered her to keep walking while the attack had taken place. No one reported the incident although the car park had been busy and the window of a vehicle parked near the area had been smashed. Four officers, both male and female with dogs combed the dunes and spoke to users as a police helicopter circled the area. The police were seen taking names, addresses and telephone numbers but emphasised they were not interested in moral policing and confined themselves to warning users that the area was unsafe. They are urging anyone to come forward with information that could help them. One man told ScotsGay: "A man told me he had their car registration number, but he was too afraid to give it to the police". Another user said: "It is safer to use the naturist beach at Stevenston at the moment. The Big Idea has closed down so there is now only one way to access it from the car park". Users are urged to carry mobile phones and pass on anything that might help the police to ScotsGay or Gay Switchboard. It is almost ten years since a spate of similar attacks were reported to police in Glasgow's Queen's Park, shortly before the murder of Michael Doran by a gang of four youths. Garry Otton *Michelle Scally-Clarke She Is Tour 2004 She Is - a moving walking she woman ride, for she is an emotion, a passion, a warmth or a loss in every woman. She Is - not of me but of we. My sisters, my mothers, my friends and our lovers, our joys and our struggles. After the success of the tour in March 2001 when Michelle supported Linton Kwesi Johnson to promote her book and CD - "I Am" published by Route, Michelle Scally-Clarke is back with her follow up collection of poems - "She Is", also to be published by Route this year. Every now and again individuals come along who breathe new life into performance poetry. One such individual is Benjimin Zephaniah, writer and performance poet. Michelle Scally-Clarke injects new life into performance poetry by combining her words with music and visual images. On stage Michelle is in her element, audiences are captivated with the charisma and energy that extends from each performance. Michelle Scally-Clarke delivers her words in a half storyteller, half singer style. This striking black poetess not only manages to pull off the unthinkable, following a legend (Linton Kwesi Johnson) but wins a standing ovation and encore. Her words and the seeping musical cocktail captivates the audience.- Rob Nichols, Evening Gazette, Middlesbrough. This tour promises to be an exciting, inspiring and thought provoking experience for those who come to watch. This tour is not to be missed. Michelle will be performing at Club Velvet at a special pre-club event on Sat 6th Nov. This will be the final date of her national tour. To celebrating Tony Fitzpatrick's promotion in Fife Constabulary, and to thank him for all the work his has done for Fife's LGBT community, a hand made "rainbow" bowl was recently presented to Tony along with a desk rainbow flag. *Borders LGBT Barbeque The fifth annual Borders barbeque was held in Galashiels on Sat 3rd Jul. After one of the wettest Junes on record, not even a dodgy weather forecast could dampen the spirits of the 25 people who turned up at Boleside picnic site. They came from as far away as Aberdeen, Glasgow and Wigton (Cumbria), with the Gay Outdoor Club and Kilts group well represented. It poured down! Morale slumped as an instant barbeque fizzled out and died. Eventually a tarpaulin was hung from a tree and barbeques lit beneath it. Meanwhile people were huddled intimately together under umbrellas, meeting people and making new friends. By the time that everyone had eaten, morale was restored and it was time to head off for the traditional afternoon tea at a nearby flat. Many thanks to everyone who supported this unforgettable event. Alastair Lings *Free Scottish LGBT Letting Website http://www.butandben.co.uk/ We are a new, free letting website, specifically geared for the Lesbian and Gay Community in Scotland. The site will be in full operation as from Fri 20th Aug. It is easy to use and we hope that it will be of particular use to those who wish to let a room but do not wish the stress and hassle of explaining who the heck they are each time they find a new flat-mate or tenant. We also believe that there is a desperate need to have a service which can accommodate those who are looking for accommodation and are apprehensive about sharing with potentially homophobic individuals. Some may see this as ghettoising the gay scene and segregating the community from mainstream society. This may be the case in places like London or San Francisco where being gay is not an issue but sadly it's certainly not the case in Scotland where there is still a high degree of homophobia. Coming from Inverness, I can assure you that it is still as strong as ever. 4 weeks ago the Inverness Courier reported the serious assault on two brothers who were hugging in an Arderseir Pub by a group of locals who took them for being gay - one received a fractured jaw. The brothers hadn't seen each other for 10 years and one had come back for a family funeral! Paul Johnstone *How's It Hanging? CockTales - a brand new FREE comic has been launched for young gay and bisexual men (over 16)! It follows the lives, lusts and antics of 8 different young guys as they get into the kind of situations we face in coming out, starting relationships, being out on the scene and enjoying our sexuality! It's available for FREE from local LGBT Youth agencies or Healthy Gay Scotland (Tel: 0131-558 3713. WWW: http://www.healthygayscotland.com/) Get your order in early for your FREE copy and you could win other goodies -t-shirts, badges, keyrings mousemats! *Brand New You What if you could have access to the best cosmetic surgeons in the world and the transformation team to the Hollywood stars? You will be flown to Los Angeles for 6 weeks for this incredible opportunity. Call: 020-7751 7376 or E-mail: brandnewyou@rdfmedia.com for an application form *Ring A reminder that Lothian Switchboard are still appealing for ex-volunteers to get in touch for their 30th anniversary bash on 19th Sep. *Bairn Flags LGBT Centre at 58 Cow Wynd in Falkirk is one year old! Anyone wishing to find out more can Tel: Falkirk (01324) 617717 or E-mail: flagslgbt@hotmail.com *Fast One Soundsnew Entertainment who have been running successful speed dating nights in Aberdeen are now taking names for an event for men wishing to meet other men which will be taking place in late Sep. Anyone wishing to take part or find out more information should Write: PO Box 18522, Aberdeen. AB51 3WZ. or E-mail gdate@msn.com *God Bothering Due to the Edinburgh Festival and the use of their Church as a Fringe Venue, Metropolitan Community Church will be meeting at 11am on a Sun morning during Aug. They return to worshipping at 6pm on the first Sun in Sep. *Positive Cash Flow The Big Lottery Fund which distributes proceeds from the National Lottery to charities has awarded GBP132,000 to Positive Voice for a further three years to continue and develop their Volunteer Development Project. To be awarded a second development grant for a project is a significant achievement for a small local organisation. *5th Anniversary! The Laddies and Lassies Club will be 5 years old on 15th Oct. To celebrate, they'll be getting together at Merchant Pride from 7pm-Midnight. Buffet snacks will be provided for GBP3, the cost going to club funds. *Youth Fifteen young people from all over Scotland recently joined together for the second meeting of the National LGBT Youth Council at LGBT Youth Scotland's offices in Edinburgh. *Sallying Forth Equality Network has moved from 22 Forth Street to 18 Forth Street. *FILM Launchpad, a brand new short film initiative that will take off in November 2004 as part of Glasgay!, is currently advertising for short film entries from the LGBT community. Hosted by Glasgow's Centre for Contemporary arts, the event promises to be a fun, experimental and inclusive selection of the best short, video and animation work from students and independent filmmakers from the UK and further afield. Work will either be made by or involve gay, lesbian, bi or transgender artists or crew, else will have a queer edge regardless of the the sexuality of those involved. For more information and to download a submission form go to the film section at http://www.glasgay.co.uk/The deadline for submissions is 30th Sep. *Transmit Research Healthy Gay Scotland is offering GBP20 vouchers to take part in a brand new piece of research looking at the needs of men in relationshuips. They are particularily interested in HIV positive men and their partners - the research is for gay and bisexual men who have ever been in any kind of a relationship, and they are particularily interested in HIV positive men or their partners. The 1-1 interviews last for about an hour and they can be flexible about times/days and venues - to suit your needs. All your infowould be confidential but they want to use it to develop new resources for gay men in Scotland. Tel: 0141-331 8617 or 0131-558 3713. E-mail: p.flowers@gcal.ac.uk or linda.thompson@healthygayscotland.com --------------------------------------------------------------- ARTS ==== EDINBURGH FRINGE REVIEWS ------------------------ There is no escape in Edinburgh during August. The Festivals mean price hikes and gridlock and everyone gets judged. So Martin Walker ("Charming, urbane and handsome" - Fringe Report) is back, with a stack of Reviews. Never Mind the Botox Four Poofs and a Piano Pleasance *** These guys from Jonathan Ross's TV show are lovely, lovely people. The kind of poof you can take home to your mother. Or just simply take home. Here they fly through an hour of songs, silly stories and camp dance routines. If you have seen them on television, then you know exactly what to expect. The highlight for me, if you can believe it, was the poof's own inimitable version of "Who Ate All the Pies". Also performing at Vibe on 24th Aug. PowerPoint Aisle 16 Gilded Balloon ***** You don't see many 5 star reviews for poetry gigs but Aisle 16 take the genre to a whole new level. Of course a motivational business seminar is the very last place that any poetry should be - there is much talk of individual "Power" and "Control". But really it's an astute satirical swipe on art, corporations, capitalism and bullshit. In particular, Luke Wright's hit at coffee culture, "Fight for your right to Latte" and his demolition of junk populism as exposed in the brilliant poem "Channel" "4" are close to genius. Forget everything you think you know about performance poetry - it's alive and it's kicking hard and Aisle 16 lead the angry pack. Face Academy Gary La Strange Pod Deco *** With songs like "Warriors of Style" and "Electric Dance", 80's throwback Gary La Strange fills the almost empty theatre with retro noise. This is entertaining stuff from the winner of the Perrier Best Newcomer last year. He discuses philosophy, fashion, sex and art. He struts in big boots. The only difficulty with his self-proclaimed plan to rid the world of mediocrity is that some of his act alas is pretty average. At its peak it's a hysterical send up of the New Romantics, it just needs a few more laughs. And an audience. Tina C's Manifesto Show Pod Deco **** I lurve Tina C, the comic creation of Chris Green, who apart from anything else has the best pair of legs in Edinburgh this Fringe. Tina is a conservative Republican country singer with a heart - just back from entertaining the troops in Iraq. And she does look fabulous on the glittery Pod Deco stage. This show is part traditional drag act, executed perfectly, and part very clever political satire on a country where the president as gone mad. George W jokes are ten a penny this festival. Tina C does it better. The Bearded Ladies Underbelly *** Sketch show comedy is notoriously difficult to get right. And these four women frequently do. It is easy to see why their act works so well on radio - the sketches are often more literal than visual - the script is frequently brilliant. But like so much sketch show comedy the whole thing does feel a little predictable, with perhaps too many gaps between the laughs. I loved the recurring dating agency skits though. Ubu Disco Underbelly **** This is a lot of fun. Alfred Jarry's rollicking tale of battles and political chicanery comes to Edinburgh. As the show opens we see 'King' Ubu as a dreadful DJ behind the decks at the wedding from hell. Ma Ubu is doing the catering, so heaven help the guests as Pa Ubu finds that his disco greats trigger off memories of the old days in Poland - 'I will survive' indeed. Using basic kitchen utensils and whatever they can find behind the bar (including the guests) Pa and Ma Ubu re-enact their history. Who needs real battles when you can settle the outcome through dance-offs? This is the stuff that the Fringe is made of. Full of ideas, energy and spunk. Stickmen: Year One Pod Deco ***** There are almost limitless sketch shows around at the Fringe - there always is, and to a seasoned, perhaps even slightly jaded hack, it gets more and more difficult to impress. Phrases like 'comedy genius' are thrown around so frequently that they really don't mean very much. But Stickmen: Year One really is excellent. It's TISWAS, Chris Morris, Monty Python and the best special effects movie you have ever seen. It's slapstick, sharp, shocking and even a little bit sexy. It looks absolutely stunning, but this is no triumph of style over content. The script is as tight and as funny as the best ever episode of The Simpson's. Can you keep a secret? So can I. To reveal any more would spoil the surprise. Suffice to say that every so often a something comes along that changes everything - The Sticks have raised the standard, and nothing will ever be the same again. Beauty and the Bitch C02 **** Oh these guys are lovely. Katy Barby is our glamorous and congenial host, a kind of a cross between Katie Melia and Lilly Savage, whilst Dave Key-Pugh fingers the piano. This is an hour-long set of original music, stand up comedy and some marvelous deft banter. And it's more than a little bit camp, especially Dave's solo song entitled, "If I Were Gay (And You Weren't Dead)". Highly recommended. Bob Kingdom's Trueman Capote Assembly Rooms *** This is very well written and performed - the life and times of US socialite Trueman Capote as told by the man himself from beyond the grave. Trouble is that the themes of celebrity, fame and the gossipy industry that is Hollywood have been done to death already. The other trouble is that the estate of Trueman Capote refused permission for any of his work to be used. What we have are second hand accounts, much of which may or may not be accurate. But it is a captivating hour never the less. Sisters, Such Devoted Sisters Traverse ***** Bernice Hindley, Myra's niece, is a working class drag queen who works and plays on the gay scene in Glasgow. Here we meet her dysfunctional friends and family: Violent trannies, self-combusting grannies, Jack Russells driving cars. Russell Barr's play is powerful, tragic and funny, delivered with a professional touch of class. Blackly comic and touching, a totally captivating hour of theatre that will stay with you long after the applause is done. Chaucer's Cock Tale C Chambers St *** OK, OK, so the boys on the last ScotsGay cover, which promoted this show, aren't actually in Cock Tale. That is, except the blond one who is standing in the middle at the back. His name is Harper Ray and it is he who is the brainchild of 'Another Midas', who bought us Dirty... Little... Secrets last year. It is also he who moves on stage with such grace and agility, looking absolutely gorgeous, along with his two female co-stars. This is a visually stunning, glossy adaptation of Chaucer's Nun's Priest's tale - it's just that the performance deserved a better text to base itself upon. One Man and His Kilt Craig Hill Pod Deco **** Don't be fooled into thinking that once you've seen Craig Hill - you know his act. Craig is back this year with a whole new set. And you should catch Craig at the festival while you still can. He is clearly ascending the greasy pole of fame. Since 2000 when Craig's first solo show, 'Craig Hill's Alive With The Sound Of Music', took the Edinburgh Festival Fringe by storm his act has gone from strength to strength. Cheeky, irreverent and, of course, wonderfully camp. XXX Pleasance * This is an extremely loose adaptation of Philosophy in the Boudoir by Marquis de Sade. Allegedly, the most sexually explicit theatre event ever to be staged, it provoked press outrage during its London run and lead to an investigation by Scotland Yard. The 'play' loosely depicts the story of the perversion of 18-year-old Eugenie by her tutors: Madame Lula, Giovanni and Dolmance. These four, a dressing table and, believe it or not, a giant projection screen, "take us on the journey through innocence to sexual excess and madness". Genius reworking of a classic or exploitive hype? Sadly those that left the theatre half way through this two-hour marathon did so more out of boredom than outrage. It's technically very clever, but that is all. And yes it does have audience participation - but it's obvious stooge work. The Importance Of Not Being Too Earnest Pleasance ** Much stand up comedy is based upon the life of the performer - whether stories about growing up, troubles in relationships or the difficulties with the mother-in-law. The line between laugh out loud funny and embarrassing navel gazing is thin. Here Barry Castagnola gives us the interactive navel gazing experience. Some of it is a bit funny, but much of this material is amusing reminiscing round the family dinner table stuff. Which is a shame because Barry Castagnola is a hugely talented performer as he proved with his time with the successful satirical outfit, Cyderdelic. Being Glorious! Jason Wood Assembly Rooms **** This is quite astonishing. Jason Wood's show has come on leaps and bounds. Everybody has always agreed that Jason has an incredible singing voice as an impersonator - but some have asked questions about his stand up material. For me this show settles the matter. Jason really is a star. More self deprecating and certainly more playful than before, Being Glorious is an unpredictable hour that contains some of the biggest laughs of the festival. Jason has carved himself a niche - expect to see a lot more of him on television. New Spaces for Role Models Julian Fox Pleasance ** This is a well observed and all too accurate character comedy centred on an Obsessive Compulsive Gatwick Airport fanatic and his adventures. Prior to the show, Fox circled the perimeter of the English airport, sending himself post cards has he went. He reads out the post cards. We also see video clips of his most recent trips to Milan and Bournemouth and for good measure, a deadpan delivered song or two. This show is not laugh out loud comedy - but a subtle, gentle lament to the time when travel was much more, well, interesting. Nudge Pod Deco **** Matt and Lamont are frequently compared to Vic and Bob, and with good reason. Both double acts deliver a sense of anarchy using slapstick, wit and fast, funny one-liners. It's therefore only right and proper that Charlie Chuck, who frequently upstaged the main attractions on TV's Smell of Reeves and Mortimer, should work with these up and coming young stars. This is a wonderfully rich and energetic performance by Matt Holt and James Lamont. The plot really doesn't matter. Something about Freemasons, power ballads and albinos. There are some terrific set pieces, chase sequences, and a deftly timed 'Lamontage.' All the best moments though belong to Charlie Chuck - some of them are even scripted. Simple Pleasures Paul Foot Pleasance **** Paul is one of those stand-ups that can take a half spoken sentence from an audience member and turn it into ten minutes of improvised comedy. This ensures that his show isn't just really funny - it's marvelously unpredictable. Well, it's Paul's birthday (again) and he wants to find a date. He has a can of Lilt and a Chinese take away. All he needs is an audience member to share his birthday with. And all of a sudden we learn that Paul is gay, as it is the guys in the audience that he is going for. And the knee he sat on this night was mine. Storyman Andrew Clover Pleasance *** Andrew Clover is attempting the almost impossible. In Storyman he creates a slightly grotesque and certainly unnerving comedy character and then has him improvise scenes using suggestions from the audience. And it frequently works. Character comedy is hard. Good improvisation is hard. Andrew Clover handles both these tasks quite well. In front of a larger more up for it audience, this show could develop into a really special. He is a real talent. Reginald D Hunter Pleasance ***** Reginald D Hunter is a 'name' on the comedy circuit. The kind of guy who can always pull in the crowds. As ever, there are loads of comics on the Fringe that are well worth seeing. Jimeoin, Lucy Porter, Jimmy Carr, as well as the gorgeous Danny Bhoy. Reginald D Hunter just about pips the lot to the post. The man is so relaxed - you immediately get the impression that the stage is his home, and as his guest, he wants to make you comfortable. Quite how he manages this when taking on subjects that many other comedians wouldn't touch is difficult to describe, except for the fact that it's all very funny stuff. Hunter hates boxes and labels and doesn't really understand why everyone just doesn't get along. And it's refreshing to have a black straight American have a go at his friends because they can't admit to knowing what an attractive man looks like. Honest, open, and genuinely hilarious. The best stand up at the Edinburgh Fringe 2004. Sex Addict Tim Fountain Assembly Rooms *** In the computer age sexual gratification can be delivered faster than ever - a point not lost on Tim Fountain. Live on stage, Fountain chats up some guys on the popular website Gaydar, and gets the audience to pick one for him to get off with. Next day he reports back on the conquest. Conceived as an honest open way of looking at sex, not to mention a bit of a laugh - the result was not quite what Tim Fountain intended. The show didn't even manage the first week of its run before lawyers acting on behalf of Gaydar moved to prevent their website being used. This is odd, the very concept of the show Tim Fountain - Sex Addict, ought surely to be a Gaydar Marketing Executive's dream. The show goes on, but as Fountain is now legally obliged to point out at the end - it's all fiction. Sometimes the law really is an arse. Comedy A Oh Oh C02 **** It is a little bit silly trying to review a cabaret gig when the line up is different every night - my attendance at Oh Oh was more recreational than professional - ahem, I'd had a few beers. Tom Price and the lovely Matt Holt rotate the duty of host - and tonight it's Matt's turn. The audience is like a who's who of Fringe Performers, it was great to see fellow Nudger Charlie Chuck giggling away at some of Matt's cheeky material. If you have an hour to spare after midnight I heartily recommend that you check out Oh Oh. Also recommended In the last issue of ScotsGay we managed to miss-spell Shelley Cooper's name. Shelley is spelt with two e's and not one. Our apologies. See her show at the Gilded Balloon and let her know that ScotsGay sent you. Also at the Gilded Balloon is The Laramie Project, the story of the brutal attack and murder of a gay man in the US. Dan Hyde's Dark Angels and the sacrilegious comedy, Actress, Batchelor, Clergyman, Cheat, are both at the Sweet at the Royal Mile and are also on my list of 'Must See Shows'. There is masses of stuff that you should check out at the 'C' Venues. Consider Venus, Mars and Chocolate Cake, The Crimson Corset, and the play that's next on my list, Forbidden - which is about the lesbian relationship between a German and a Jew during Nazi Germany. 'C' also has NewsRevue's 25th anniversary show - the satirical sketch show is usually worth a look. Lesley Ross, aka Greg Ashton's Fringe swansong is the trilogy of plays that is The International Festival of Lilliput at Venue 13 - and it's well worth seeing all three. Finally, I'd recommend a children's show, again at 'C'. If you don't have kids, go borrow them and enjoy The Owl and the Pussy Cat - a marvelous magical hour. Martin Walker E-mail: mgwuk@hotmail.com Thanks to Tony Challis for getting me to the show on time (more often than not). John Hein adds: Martin's Gaydar seems to be a little bit faulty in that he's totally missed Katzenjammer - Steven and Kevin performing their own spectacular piano arrangements of popular pieces mixed with hilarious comic bantering and stories. I caught a couple of numbers at the Fringe Party and thought that they were rather good! Bang Bang You're Dead The Red Chair Players C Venues **** In this play by William Mastriosimone about school shootings in the USA we learn something about American gun culture. Of inadequate people getting status from owning a gun and the dangers that can pose for people at an impressionable age. Played by 12 actors with barely a prop in sight they move effortlessly and convincingly from one character to another, from kids, parents, judge, jury, and many more. It is also easy to forget that these are not professional actors but a group of 14-18 year olds. Very well done. The Pull of Negative Gravity Mercury Theatre Company Traverse **** This new play by Jonathan Lichtenstien tries to cover a lot of ground, and that is its problem. One could do a play about rural finances, the impact of the foot and mouth outbreak, Londoners buying second homes in Wales, or the effects on families of the war in Iraq, but all of them in one play? However its main focus is on how big decisions affect one family and how out of the millions of possible things that could happen a few will totally change our lives. It starts off at a funeral, Vi (Joanne Howarth), has lost her husband. Was it suicide? Dai (Lee Haven-Jones) and Rhys (Daniel Hawksford) have lost a father. Then there is Bethan (Louise Collins), who may be Dai's fiancee but that doesn't stop Rhys showing an interest. All I'll say of the rest of the plot is that Dai joins the army and returns from Iraq injured. Actually he returns four times, once in the minds of each of the other characters and then finally for real as a broken man. What happens next is what the play is about. However it is also making the point that those injured in the Iraq war are largely invisible. Most people could probably guess at the numbers of British solders killed in that conflict (64) but I was surprised to discover that the number who were so seriously injured that they had to be medically evacuated back to the UK was 2381 on 25 March. No doubt it's even higher now. For me the play had an overly complex structure and is constantly jumping back and forth in time for no good reason. Why for instance could we not have simply been told why it was Dai rather than Rhys who joined up rather than dragging it out throughout the whole play? However while the writing lacks something the acting is superb. Forbidden New Arts Theatre Company C Venues *** It is Berlin 1942 and Felice (Cordelia Rayner) meets Lilly (Clare Grogan) and they become lovers. I would have thought that would be complicated enough in Nazi Germany but in this new play by Pat Rowe there is an added twist, Felice is a Jew. Amazingly nothing was said about being lesbians at that time and place and the play concentrates on the development of their relationship. In this way it is quite a good thriller. Will Felice stay or try to escape? Will either or both of them survive? If so what happens after the war? These are just some of the questions addressed in this interesting play. One hesitates to say "enjoyable" for a play about a Jewish lesbian in Nazi Germany but enjoy it I did. The Crimson Corset Scarlet Angel Productions C Central *** This play is ostensibly about a well to do couple married in 1910 and the husband's insistence that his wife, Crimson (Eleanor Gwyn-Jones), should wear a very tight corset so as to have a very slender waist. However it is as much about the status of women in pre First World War Britain. Throwing off the corset of being second class citizens. There are some problems with it, would a man who was a member of the House of Lords really be referred to as "Sir Hubert".and I felt it also suffered from having only 2 actors, Crimson and Mary (Morag Thorpe) who also wrote the play, but that may have more to do with the costs of doing a show in Edinburgh. There is some fine writing and acting talent here but I felt that the play really needs more development. Catastrophe at Culloden Telling Tales C Cubed ** A lighthearted romp through Scottish history with Bonnie Prince Charlie surrounded by a couple of foul mouthed and foul smelling highlanders. In fact how do we know it wasn't really like this rather than some of the more romanticised images we have? Not great scholarly work but quite good fun. I Put a Spell on You Wendy Buonaventura Gilded Balloon Teviot **** This can be described as a show in four parts. Dance, documentary, rant against London's Royal Festival hall and their censorship, and a plug for her book, also called I Put a Spell on You - Dancing Women from Salome to Madonna.It starts out with some very fine dance which consists of a woman preparing to go out. However we rapidly move on to find out that there is far more to this piece. Buonaventura is interested in attitudes towards women and dance, of how at times it has been seen as dangerous, an art form, pornographic, and much more. It is therefore ironic that, according to Buonaventura, at her planned book launch at the Royal Festival Hall she was told she couldn't show parts of a documentary she had made, and they then insisted she couldn't even dance in a public area. So she has put together a wonderfully witty hour that tells some of the story. Buonaventura has assembled some marvellously silly quotes about the dangers of dance and skilfully deploys them. Anybody with a serious interest in dance will love it. I liked it so much I bought the book. Flop Pig Iron Pleasance Courtyard ***** To put on a show called "Flop" shows either supreme confidence or total incompetence by tempting reviewers to review it in one word. It was obvious from the start that this was the former. 80 minutes of supreme madness that I would find difficult to categorise as clowning, physical theatre or mime - the company describe themselves as a "dance-clown-theatre ensemble". My notes from the show seem like a list of random words "tea-bag, teapot, time running back when you put a clock back, water bottle, trumpet" and so on. I thoroughly enjoyed myself and can't wait for their next show. And in the End The Walrus Group C Venues *** Subtitled the Death and Life of John Lennon, this play by Alexander Marshall tries to tell the life story of John Lennon. Given that in the last year I have seen one entire play that dealt solely with his separation and reconciliation with Yoko Ono this is not an easy task. He was not helped by the fact that there are so many unknowns and myths about John Lennon. Not that that stops them being published in books. From what little I know he seems to have done quite a good job. Valentine Pelka really comes across as a convincing Lennon, and is helped by two other actors at various times. I however couldn't get the hang of the author trying to tell the story through the themes of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Fierce: An Urban Myth Grid Iron Assembly Rooms ***** Grid Iron in a theatre? I've seen them in an unused bank storage area, in a public park, and in a derelict house, but a theatre? This had to be different. It was. A hip-hop musical about graffiti artists. Finlay (Mark Arends) is a kid who can't do much but he can draw. Along with some friends when he grabs his can of spray paint is he a creative artist producing beautiful work or a vandal doing enormous damage to public property? This play allows one to view it either way, but mostly it takes the former view and tells about their lives. A lot of the dialogue and slang terms I didn't get but that didn't matter there is so much in here so powerfully delivered that you get enough. I was particularly taken with what I can only describe as the fuck off song, that seemed to consist of only two words used repeatedly. There is also an ingenious set that by the use of back projection allows the stage to be instantly transformed into one of many recognisable locations. Is it their best yet? Who can tell, they are all so good. Hitler Sells Tickets EVA Assembly Rooms *** Indeed he does if the audience when I saw this play was typical. Written by Boothby Graffione this is a farce about Mussolini and his double, Aldo. I'd love to know from where Graffione dug up the quote about Fascism as the Third Way. It explains a lot. The Shamen (The Winds of Bon) & 1001 Nights Shakti The Garage *** Quite how Shakti and two other dancers do these two with only about 20 minutes between them I've no idea. The first one starts with a flowing dance that at times consists of no more than delicate movements of the eyebrows. I knew this wouldn't last. It didn't It was soon the frenetic style one expects from Shakti. 1001 nights was to an extent more of the same except it was more explicitly sexual in nature with the temptress offering herself to the king and telling stories to save her life. Good quality dance from Shakti. The Smallest Person Trestle Theatre Company Pod Deco ***** Every time I see Trestle these days I'm reminded of Monty Python's Four Yorkshiremen sketch. For those not familiar with it, it consists of 4 blokes sitting round coming up with more and more ludicrous stories of how hard things were when they were young. In the Trestle version I think they come up with more and more ludicrous versions of what they are going to try and achieve in their next show. So what is it this time. Take the story of Caroline Crachami, who was only 19.5" tall and lived in Georgian England, mix it in with a tale of medical ethics, of what is right to advance research, add to that a modern story of another child and tough medical choices, and to make things harder replace the company's Artistic Director. Do they manage it? Effortlessly. Of course, they haven't actually got a 19.5" actor so they use a puppet. As this has to interact with actors who are wearing masks it works quite well and you tend not to notice the person manipulating the puppet. Done this year with 5 actors all playing a huge number of parts it tells Caroline's story in some detail and deliberately leaves some parts of the other stories unresolved. Quite brilliant as ever. Through It All I've Always Laughed Count Arthur Strong Pod Deco *** If you haven't seen the Count (Steve Deleaney) go and see him. However for me having seen him several times the joke is becoming a bit tired. The sad old alcoholic incompetent is back this time to launch his book, and of course someone has messed up the sign so it reads "book lunch". The book is his diaries, a series of incoherent ramblings of no interest to anybody. Some very clever word play where the Count is always getting his words wrong but you know what he means. The Count can do no wrong and when things go wrong as they constantly do it is always someone else's fault. Son of the Father Pip Utton Pleasance Courtyard ***** We all know the basic story. Joseph (Pip Utton) and Mary (Mae Brogan) have a kid named Jesus who gets killed, but told like this. The first shock is the Yorkshire accents, but if Northern Broadsides can do Macbeth that way why shouldn't Utton? After all if they are speaking in English what accent should they have? Joseph is a loving father who has just seen his son Jesus killed. He is a simple carpenter who is separated from his wife Mary who is a religious nutter who believes her son to be the messiah and is so far off her trolley that she believes god is the father. Something Joseph regards as "stupid fairy-stories and conjuring tricks". We explore their relationship and the gory details of their sex life at an early age. Just 2 actors on stage with an object used as a seat, lights that go up at the start and down at the end, but with a script that is a work of sheer genius performed by actors who could not be bettered.Very occasionally one sees something at a theatre that induces a feeling of serenity and a desire to do nothing but sit down and reflect on it. This is theatre of that quality. Without a doubt my highlight of the 2004 Fringe. The 26th International Choreographers' Showcase Dance Form Productions Rocket@Demarco Roxy Art House *** What a snappy title. When you get a lot of different choreographers - 7 - you are bound to prefer some more than others. Bolero by Holly Williams for some unknown reason had a video of the dancers as well as seeing the dance live. This just distracted me. It was OK. The second Multidirectional Walk by Susana B W was professionally done but I found it boring. Then things started to look up with Autum with choreography by Daryl Raizel and danced by Beatrix Pascual. Journey Home with choreography by Kris Cangelosi and performed by Bethany Jones-McCullough was truly haunting dance. Then a couple more that did nothing for me and finally White, choreographed by Maria Kroll and danced by her and 11 other dancers which was great. Parts of costumes being unexpectedly torn off and dancers everywhere. If only they could all have been this good. Misery Milestone Productions Underbelly *** A man, Paul Sheldon (Thomas Garvey), in bed. It emerges that he has been dragged from a car crash by Annie Wilkes (Eileen Nicholas). He is a writer, she is a fan, and she is keeping him prisoner. How crazy or devoted would a fan have to be to want to do that? How far will she go to keep him? How far will he go in his attempts to escape? What will happen in the end? A perfectly respectable production adapted by Simon Moore from a story by Stephen King. Taking the Peace Hubble Bubble Productions Gilded Balloon Teviot **** I've long held the view that you don't have to be a boring old fart to make a serious political point. This wonderfully comic show about Middle East politics makes the point. What have the Arabs ever done for us? Quite a lot actually. The words alcohol and algebra both derive from Arabic (I make no comment on their relative importance). What have we done for the Arabs, well quite a lot they don't like but have been forced to put up with. One of the performers is a Gulf Arab, he comments on our cultures "you have a work ethic, we have lunch". There is much more in this style and the intelligence to realise that they are doing this in Edinburgh not London. I hadn't realised before that the initial letters of The War Against Terror pretty much sum up George W. I don't normally find comedy shows funny. I laughed throughout this. Tempting Providence Theatre Newfoundland Labrador Traverse *** This is the story of the British trained midwife, Myra Bennett, who arrived in Newfoundland from London in 1921 after hearing of the desperate need for people like her in rural area. Her skills were required not just for delivering babies but for everything from setting bones to extracting teeth. It is well written and ably performed, but my life experiences are so vastly different from those in rural Canada in the early twentieth century that I never really got into it. Amajuba - Like Doves We Rise Oxford Playhouse & The Farber Foundry Assembly Rooms **** This is listed under theatre but it could just as well be listed under musicals or dance. South Africa has changed. Are blacks who recently reached adulthood there the last generation or the first? In a sense they are both. This is their story but told through a mixture of largely unaccompanied singing, dance, and acting. 5 performers tell of the resettlements, growing up in the townships, the poverty, the violence, the hunger, the death, and the football. Performed on a largely bare stage with 7 bowls and a few other things you don't notice until they are used it is a truly magnificent creation. When the Bulbul Stopped Singing Traverse Theatre Company Traverse ***** Oh wonderful, wonderful. Raja Shehadeh is a Palestinian human rights lawyer and novelist who lives in Ramallah. When the Israeli army invaded in March 2002 he started to write a diary, and boy can he write. This has been adapted for the stage by the excellent David Greig who must have had a difficult job getting a 152 page book into a monologue that runs for less than 90 minutes. All of this is brought to life on stage by Christopher Simon. Glancing through the programme before the show with its pictures of wilful Israeli destruction in Ramallah I thought I might be in for a mindless anti-Israeli rant. How wrong I was. Being a human rights lawyer Shehadeh understands the importance of law and following lawful processes. Yet he also understands and explains the suicide bomber, but he can also see the suffering of their victims. He feels the anger of all Palestinians being termed terrorists, the way that dehumanises people, as they become something to be destroyed. And he understands and explains so much more in beautiful language helped out by beautiful music by Max Richter.Every Fringe these days I expect to see something at The Traverse that is superb. This is such a play. I Didn't Vote For George W Parker Entertainment C Central **** Every year I slip in a few shows that are different. This was certainly one of them. I remember many years back Corky and the Juice Pigs used the line "We're Canadians not Americans, so you can laugh with us not at us". American Brian Longwell delivers a lecture where explains US foreign policy, with the help of deliberately badly drawn overhead projector slides. Do we laugh at Americans, we laugh constantly at some of them, but in a friendly way. Definitely unusual, definitely funny, and definitely good. Lazzi, The Zen Clown Diverse Attractions * About the most positive thing I can say about this show is it proves how talented are people who do this sort of thing well. A man dressed in black sits in the corner of the stage. He moves a bit. The music changes. He wakes up. He tries to walk through a locked door. He removes his gloves, hat and glasses. He pulls out a handkerchief and puts it back. Eventually he speaks repeatedly "To be or not to be that is the question", he then says "to be and not to be that is the answer". A long mime about making tea. He walks to the back of the audience. Is it over? Sadly no. He comes back and hands out pebbles to the audience. He looks out of the window, I start looking at the elaborate ceiling. A rambling bit about the big bang. It ends. Truly, madly, dreadful. Thom Pain (Based on Nothing) Soho Theatre Company Pleasance Courtyard *** This new play by Will Eno is definitely different. It starts with words being delivered in total darkness. This goes on for longer than one would expect. Then the lights come on to reveal Thom Pain (James Urbaniak). We are then given a stream of stories, but interrupted by each other with long pauses. Much of it is witty and many sentences move in unexpected directions - "So I had to speak to her in the international language of love: English". I was amazed when one person left after 8 minutes and the actor did what appeared to be a wonderful ad lib, but I subsequently discovered the whole event was scripted. Two more people walking out later weren't. At the end some applauded wildly, some warmly, some politely, and some were no longer there Martin Powell E-mail: martinp@drink.demon.co.uk Comedy The Stand Saturday 31st July 2004 In this evening's performance compere Susan Morrison opened with a joke on one of the audience, berating him for 'coming from somewhere as shitty as Livington'. This raised huge laughs. First up of the comedians however was Gary Little, a skin head who claimed his previous profession was a mugger. His act raised much hilarity among the audience, especially the one about his mother being the only one in Glasgow without an addiction to alcohol and vallium. Sainsbury McGiven was as camp as you like as the ironic fashion guru in white tracksuit and bling jewellery. This comedian doesn't have to do much to be funny, it's all in the way he stares at the audience. Richard Allen creeps onto the stage next to boos and hisses when they find out he's English (xenophobia against the English being a running joke throughout the night). Don't let that put you off though, his witty backfire to the audience as they try to heckle him set him apart as one who can fight off the best of them. Finally there was Sabrina Mathews, a lesbian comedian from the states who had the longest concluding set and she didn't fail to disappoint the audience. In conclusion though it is McGiven and Allen that raised the most laughs from this reviewer. All in all, time at The Stand is not a bad way to spend a Saturday night. Actress, Bachelor, Clergyman, Cheat First nights are always difficult and this one wasn't helped by a weak plot. John (the clergyman) is actually a stripper, while Kim (the actress) is really a party planner. One-time teenage sweethearts, John cheated on Kim who, ten years later, engineers her revenge, only to find true love with the one-time cheat. Sorry to spoil the plot, but that's about it. One interchange is described as being from a B movie. Surely a case of the playwright engaging in a bit of self referencing irony. The actors struggle with some woeful dialogue and, for the most part, unfortunately lose. What this play lacked in plot, action and tension it made up for in characterisation. Yet, even this couldn't make up for a plot construction unable to fill the hour. However, a poor first night audience found some lines to laugh at. Perhaps you will too. About Face About face is staged by Theatre hE, mME, mm, mm (sic) and is written by Jinny McCallister. Staring Paula Benson (Sam), Ryan Early (Daniel) and James Thomas (Angus) as the love triangle, each is in search of true magical love. Such is the nature of love triangles, however, that there is bound to be one who is left disappointed but I won't spoil it for you by telling you who that is. Indeed, it is the search for the perfect, all encompassing love that provides the main conflict within the play, which is well written and acted. A minor criticism is that in the first act one of the actors obscured the audience view of another while noisy air conditioning detracted from the first half of the performance. This play is well performed but the directing could have been more effective. Worth a trip to the Cafe Royal. Maybe someone will think to switch off the drone from the air conditioning. Jeremy Lion's Happy Birthday Jeremy Lion won the Perrier best newcomer award in 2002 but sometimes it's difficult to see why. The premise of the show is Jeremy telling the audience how he would run a children's birthday party, complete with grotesque puppets. While he does open with some good gags such as "I can see what this place is used for when it's not the festival -- an oven". Said while dripping in sweat. Unfortunately, he finds it difficult to sustain a consistently high standard. However, if intrigued by the grotesque, this is the strangest performance you're ever likely to meet with Jeremy Lion and his keyboardist Leslie and the birthday cake: the latter spawning an evil fox. The madness is accompanied by traditional songs, rap, sweets, more puppetry and a slide show. Jeremy apparently becomes increasingly drunk on wine and beer throughout. Indeed, at one point he downs a can of Carlsberg in one go and drinks Lenor fabric softener from its bottle, sharing some wine with fortunate members of the audience. His comic timing and delivery can't be faulted whereas the slide show can. This comedian has perfected the art of drinking and delivering lines. However, with so much going on and props that look older than he is, it's difficult to give him too much credit. While this show does contain some good material it seems to go downhill with too much Butlin's type humour featuring a lot of props, the slide show forcing some to leave early. However you may like his brand of humour and his show certainly doesn't lack effort. Bill Hicks Slight Return Pleasance Hut Bill Hicks is back, or at least a comedian impersonating Bill Hicks is back. He comes onto the stage amid a puff of smoke and bearing angel wings. Such was Bill Hicks popularity before he died and even now ten years later, that this show manages to gain a full house on the wettest day of the festival. If you're expecting Hicks jokes re-hashed then you'll be disappointed. What this show does contain however is what Bill's opinions might have been of the world today, had he survived cancer. This is an engaging performance from an otherwise unknown impersonator. It is more interesting than funny however. You hear everything from Hicks take on the upcoming American election to his love of internet porn. A definite must see for those who loved Bill Hicks and those who want some live entertainment to remember him by. Ed Byrne - Me Again The Assembly Rooms If there's one show you see this year at the festival make it Ed Byrne and book early, as you can expect nothing less than a full house. He'll be on until the end of the festival however so you don't have to worry too much. Byrne had excellent timing and delivery and is funny from the second he walks onto the stage until the curtain call. He even ran over in this show thanks to an appreciative audience. He tells jokes on everything from cigarettes to George Bush to travel in his set. He even makes jokes about his days doing voiceovers for car phone warehouse. You can expect a top class night out for your money from this accomplished comedian who has been treading the boards at the festival for many a year. Look out for his onslaught about his ex-girlfriend and the incident in a burger joint in his native Ireland. But please, if you don't see anything else this year, see Ed Byrne, he's worth it. Tina C's Manifesto Show Pod Deco The last time I saw Tina C was in 1999 when she was part of the Screamers show at the festival. This time she was on her own and is still pleasing the audience. With her ambition to have 'the best job in the world' - president of the USA, she brings us her manifesto show. While it contains humorous songs and jokes it just wasn't as good as the last time I saw her. She does do satire in an innovative way though, finding humour in the crisis and atrocities that have passed in Saudi Arabia and Iraq. Indeed, her show starts on the premise that she has recently returned from entertaining troops in Iraq. Expect full commercialism as she tries to flog her CD's throughout the show as well as some good humour and audience involvement from this good time girl. Lee Mack The Assembly Rooms Lee Mack opened the show with a video of his younger self, obviously not him but a young actor, but all the same it pulled in the laughs. This is especially so when he tells of his addiction to sherbet that is inhaled through a rolled up note. This part of the show introduces how Mack got started as a comedian by being the class joker. Later on Mack interacts with the audience, making quick whited jokes out of what they say. These parts of the show will have you in stitches. His timing and comic rhetoric is highly entertaining and like most comedians who have been on the tele, brings in a full house of appreciative comedy lovers. One word of advice though, since it's in the supper room, the front four rows are at ground level and as he is on a raised stage you might have to narrow your eyes to avoid staring at the lights when you look at him. Alternatively you can book your tickets and arrive on time thus ensuring you'll be at the back which all things considered is a better place to sit. Enjoy the show. Crave by Sarah Kane Edinburgh Graduate Theatre Group When I was at University Sarah Kane was a very popular and modern playwright. But it was during this time that Sarah was admitted to hospital, not for the first time, for suffering from depression. It was here she hanged herself and died. That was in February 1999 when at the height of her success and with a play on in one of Glasgow's main theatres. It is due to her affinity with mental illness that her plays include themes of depression, abuse, isolation and degradation. She has her own unique writing style that does not include linear plot or naturalistic direction. Instead, the actors all face the audience at once or face each other in a circle and the dialogue is sporadic and confused, like the characters themselves. Crave is a complex play dealing with the difficult emotions and betrayal experienced by the lead female character played by Asha Mayan. This is amateur theatre and is well performed by Asha and the supporting cast considering. However, the direction could have been much better and would have made the show more of a pleasurable experience. Laura McGrath E-mail: artandthe@yahoo.com --------------------------------------------------------------- Say Sorry ========= 'C' Chambers Street We rarely see a play from within our own community that shows gay life in a less than perfect light. Obsessed with the projection of positive images to the straight world, the LGBT community does itself no favours by ignoring reality. Domestic abuse, we say, does not concern us. Gay men are less violent than straights, we are much more in touch with our 'feminine side' and the only danger we face is from an intolerant straight world. And lesbians don't get into violent relationships because women don't do that sort of thing to each other. Yet research contained in the 'Sigma Report' suggests that as many as one in four LGBT people have been a victim of domestic violence at one time in their lives. In other words, you are as likely to be abused at home if you are straight or gay. And whilst the hugely successful 'Zero Tolerance' campaign highlighted the appalling abuse that some women have suffered at the hands of men, the plight of same sex domestic abuse is totally ignored. Six years ago, Alex Baker began research for a play he wanted to write about same sex domestic abuse called 'Within Four Walls'. "As I was working on the play I became involved with an abusive relationship myself," says Alex, "but I didn't realise it at the time. My partner was blackmailing me - threatening to out me to my parents. I even tried to commit suicide... and almost succeeded. Later I told my parents I was gay and they were great about it. But the fear of being outed almost cost me my life." Alex formed 'Slice of Life' productions and in 2003 began helping the Metropolitan Police with their Domestic Violence Initiatives. Police offices would be encouraged to be honest about their prejudices and then tackle them head on through workshops and drama. 'Within Four Walls' become 'Say Sorry' and after a short, but hugely successful run in Brighton, it has come to the Edinburgh Fringe. The play is set entirely in an ordinary flat. Christian, a gay man in his early thirties, shares with his straight best mate, Colin. Then Christian meets Steve, who moves in and gradually starts controlling Christian's life. At first he manipulates Christian with mind games, but this gradually turns into systematic and violent physical abuse. Colin has little or no idea as to the extent of the abuse going on - Steve would punch, kick, stab and force sex acts on Christian, who is left with no one to tell, and no one to turn to. "Where do you go if you are gay and a victim of domestic abuse?" Alex wants to know. "There are only around eighteen beds in the UK to accommodate gay men who are fleeing their abusive partner, and they are all in England. There is no provision in Scotland at all. I contacted the Scottish Executive and was told that it simply wasn't a priority. It effects one in four of us and it isn't a priority?" The play is hard-hitting, and frequently uneasy to watch. Occasionally, a line might be fluffed, or the script a little laboured. But these are details that don't detract from the play's importance. "There is no point in pretending that this isn't an issue. Gay people perpetrate, or are victims of domestic abuse. We must ensure that structures are in place to both prevent it from happening, and deal with the consequences when it does happen. I'll be getting back to the Scottish Executive and the relevant agencies to see what can be done." More power to Alex Baker's elbow. Zero Tolerance of violence. Full stop. Martin Walker If this issue effects you then you can contact 'Broken Rainbow' on 0781 2644 914 or call the Domestic abuse Helpline free on 0800 027 1234. Or for more information, go to www.lgbt-dv.org. Say Sorry is performed daily at 'C' Chambers Street at 3.15pm. --------------------------------------------------------------- TOPPING AND BUTCH ================= Some gay men can be vicious - we've all seen it and some of us have done it, the actions of camp men fighting against a hard heterosexual world that would rather we did not exist. The history of gay men in art, literature, and in practically everything else is to use camp to turn on the attack. The Stonewall Riots, after all, were fought by drag queens. Satirists too, are a vicious breed. Punch, TW3, Spitting Image, Have I Got News For You - satirical humour means getting away with comedy murder to make a point. So to have two openly gay camp men delivering up-to-the-second topical jokes must be the next evolutionary step. And in Topping and Butch, camp satire has come into its own. Thing is, they are both so, well, nice about it. Camp? - yes. Vicious? - no. Cheeky? - absolutely. "Camp humour and satire sit together perfectly," grins Andrew 'Butch' Simmons as he pours the tea, "our song 'Never Mind' is an example. Superficially it's just a camp ditty, but it's really about current events. It gets written and rewritten to keep ahead of what's going on." "We are writing constantly," Adds Michael Topping, "We watch the ten o'clock news... the flat is eight minutes from the Pleasance Courtyard, then we perform at ten to eleven." Topping and Butch must have been the first act anywhere to tell jokes about Nadia winning Big Brother. "Of course it has to be funny - that's the main thing," laughs Butch, "but the Nadia jokes were great because sections of the audience didn't even know she had won yet." Topping has a wonderful hearty laugh, which is more than a little infectious. The older of the pair, his 61 years of age have done nothing to dampen his enthusiasm for performing. Indeed, what Michael and Andrew both have is what all the very best double acts have - an innate sense of fun. And they work very hard. As well as two shows of their own during the Festival, they are guesting at numerous other comedy events, including a weekly slot at Spank, the late night comedy review at the Underbelly. "Spank is a great night. Unlike maybe a couple of other comedy shows, the Underbelly is definitely gay friendly." Says Butch. "And in our show there, 'Afternoon Tease - Weapons of Mastication' we have a long line of guest stars pouring the sherry from our teapot." Says Topping. "Loads of people have been dieing to do it". I wonder if this acceptance by the mainstream is going to change the way Topping and Butch perform and whom they perform to. "We're going to continue performing on the gay circuit like we always have," smiles Butch, as Topping nods in agreement, "gay people are the best audience in the world because they don't accept anything but quality. If we can make gay people laugh, then it's funny. It keeps us sharp." Indeed, sharp enough to be winning regular standing ovations at their Pleasance show, something that very rarely happens during Edinburgh. As a reviewer of the Fringe for years, it's the first time I have willingly participated in such a thing after a comedy performance. I want to give the show 6 stars. And they have had some great press, even if the reviews are sometimes a little bewildering. Much of the media, although loving their act, doesn't quite know what to make of it. Not many can claim to be likened to Richard Stilgoe, Dennis Healy and Frankie Goes to Hollywood. After hearing their musical parody of the Black Eyed Peas 'Where is the Love,' we can add the Real Slim Shady as well. Martin Walker Adam Hills, David Benson, Scott Capurro, Rob Deering, Lucy Porter, Lizzie Roper, Mandy Muden, Eileen Nicholas, Mark Blake, Sharron Colvin, Jo Caulfield and Janey Godley will join Topping and Butch for Afternoon Tease at the Underbelly. They also take part in Spank at that venue on 21st/27th Aug. Pull Out Now continues nightly at The Pleasance. Also catch Topping and Butch on18th Sep with Ned Sherrin's "Loose Ends" on BBC Radio 4. --------------------------------------------------------------- INTERNATIONAL BOOK FESTIVAL =========================== The rain it raineth on the just and also on the unjust fella but chiefly rains upon the just for the unjust has the just's umbrella" - extensive pluvial activity in Edinburgh isn't putting a damper on the spirits of book festival-goers or indeed on attendances. Amongst the usual wide range of novels, biographies, poetry and environmental themes were to be found many strands of what seems to be a consistent topic coursing through the veins of the festival this year: freedom, honesty and integrity or their scarcity in our public and political life at home and abroad. Martin Sixsmith greatly entertained with his account of slimy Alistair Campbell and Co., and introduced his all too realistic novel "Spin". As always a packed house for Tony Benn - they heard an intelligent and witty critique of Government policy and actions especially on Iraq and some amusing anecdotes from his long life. Other full houses included our sexiest woman pensioner, Joan Bakewell, Lynne Truss whose book on punctuation has now sold a million and Melvyn Bragg's fascinating history of the English Language. Alan Hollinghurst, author of the smash-hit gay-themed novel "The Swimming Pool Library" introduced his follow-up, whilst former punk journalist Tony Parsons talked of the joys of "The Family Way" and felt the need to tell us that his socks were from "Paul Smith". Forthcoming treats include Muriel Spark, Robin Cook and on Sat 21st Jeanette Winterson. Why not get down to Charlotte Square Gardens and check the Festival out for yourself? The staff are friendliness personified and who knows who you might meet there Richard Wilson --------------------------------------------------------------- BEHIND THE SCENES ================= Edinburgh is bursting with gay people during the Fringe. Even those shows that have no obvious gay content invariably have some queer designing the sets, writing the music or working the lights. In the last issue of ScotsGay we asked 20 questions of Nic Watson, the technical director of Underhand Productions. Now the same queries go to Pete Smith, the man behind the music of NewsRevue Name/Age/Where are you from? Pete Smith, er...old enough, London What is your role/job during Fringe 2004? I'm the Musical Director/Pianist in NewsRevue How many years have you been coming to Edinburgh? This is my 2nd year as a performer, though when I was with my ex, Alastair, I used to come more often! How did it all start? In 1989 I retired from playing the piano and got a sensible job, then after an overdose of champagne in 2002 I was nursed back to a piano and forced to play NewsRevue in London as a favour for a friend. It was kinda fun to write rip-off cheesey jingles and be allowed to just make up the music as you went along rather than being a slave to someone else's dots, so I stuck around and started playing regularly for NewsRevue and for other comedy shows too, in my spare time for a laugh. Fringe comedy's a great place to work, there are so many genuinely nice people. The funniest person alive? Julie Walters. The worst person you have ever worked with? He might kill himself if I mentioned his name though thankfully he's not the type to read ScotsGay. He can't sing, can't act, has no co-ordination or timing and I think it must have been an act of mercy for him to get the part. What happened when it all went wrong? Everyone laughed a lot but always for the wrong reasons. You had to be there to appreciate him growling a line about Princess Anne. Favourite Edinburgh Fringe Venue? I love working in C (minus 1). It's a good space, you don't need mikes and everyone in the audience gets a good view of the stage. The staff are all really lovely but the C bar feels a bit like a bad Students' Union and often plays pretty dire music too loud! The Famous Spiegeltent inside and out is gorgeous! The most you have ever paid for a pint of beer? Don't drink beer. GBP3 for nasty little bottles of screw top wine gives plenty of pain. Just how many gay people are there at the Edinburgh Fringe? Always room for a few more. The must see act/show that you're not connected with? "La Clique - a Sideshow Burlesque" at the Spiegeltent is fantastic and a gay man's dream. "I love you, you're perfect, now change" at Ctoo was brilliant and very well performed. "Personals" (Royal Holloway), also at Ctoo deserves a visit too. Which reviewer really gets your goat? The whole critic thing is a nasty game that's probably best ignored, but people do take notice of what's written and that's mostly a shame. We get all kinds of reviews for our show ranging from cruel loathing to adoration - they can't all be right so I guess it's always best to make up your own mind. If the audience laughs then you must be doing something right (well, if it's a comedy) and when you overhear people telling their friends that they loved your show it beats any written review. Of course I'd love to do a couple of laps of Michael Barrymore's pool with Joe McAvoy from the Scotsman. I'm sure I could find a way of turning his spiral bound notebook into a most effective ring-binder. Salt and Sauce? I wish! Not until they make fat free chips. Best back stage gossip? I loved all the gossip surrounding the shit in the bed incident at the Greenside Church venue house. Thirty five people in a house with one toilet, well you're asking for trouble aren't you!? OK, second best back stage gossip? Me and Nicholas Parsons. Where did that come from? Let's put an end to this rumour now. The Edinburgh gay scene. Discus. I'd love to love the scene but hair like mine kinda clashes. I prefer the quiet places like Blue Moon Cafe but generally I'll be at home with friends and a cup of tea, or a bottle of wine. Who would you really, really love to work with? Anyone who's funny and not just in it for the money. I like working with the people I already work with, if anyone else wants me, that's great but I'm not chasing. Is it all just too commercial? Oh I dunno. I guess the more commercial it is, the less chance there is of someone shitting in your bed! And at least with a bit of commercial backing the venues might not treat their staff like cockle pickers. When it all gets out of hand there will no doubt be an Unter Fringe that rises and gets back the original spirit, a bit like the way Brighton Pride has become what London Gay Pride used to be. Name your Unsung Hero. Jake Wiltshire, our techie (and many other people's techie too). He's one of the nicest boys around and a true professional. He's my hero! Oh go on then, plug your shows. NewsRevue - 25th Anniversary Edition. It's a very fast moving comedy show with sketches and funny songs based on current affairs (though this year we're looking back at old news too). Our flyers carry the phrase "shocking bad taste" and I guess if you like the idea of taking the piss out of people in the news then you might like it. If you think too much about things and are easily offended then probably best stay away. We think it's funny!! People laugh and it sells out every night. 9.30pm every night until 30th August at C Venue, Chambers St. --------------------------------------------------------------- DUN EIDEANN - EDINBURGH SCENE ============================= The summer months are proving to be a hit at the newly opened Street Bar (formerly known as Pop Rokit). The cosy, trendy little bar seems busy throughout its opening hours of 1pm-1am when both floors are open day and night. A range of drink promos runs throughout the week and teas and coffees are also being served. No food is yet available but, after a wee refurb in Sep, some light snacks will be available. Trendy Wendy is on the decks downstairs on a Mon night, and special drink promos run on Tue and Wed as well as an after work 'club' on a Fri 4-9pm. Hours will change after the festival along with new offers and promos so check out the bar for details. Word on the street is that the Laughing Duck has been sold and may be turning into a straight bar! While you still have the chance, you can still enjoy the pub grub Noon-7pm and a selection of drink promos that run throughout the week. Club wise: JOY, Alan and Maggie Joy's veteran but still popular club night, has its next confirmed dates on Sat 8th Sep and 3rd Oct. The venue is the Venue on Calton Road Edinburgh. Entry is GBP6 before Midnight and GBP8 after. Please note that old club Joy passes no longer work on the door. The only next date I have for Club Wiggle is Sat 11th Sep at eGo. The usual line up of DJs are on offer: Trendy Wendy, John Pleased upstairs but my favourite is downstairs with DJ Michelle and DJ Dale Lush. Speaking of Dale Lush, Bootylushous is still as popular as ever at Medina every Sun and has a 5am license until the end of the Festival. You can also catch DJ Trendy Wendy and DJ Michelle on the decks every now and again. Club Fever (brought to you by Taste Productions) seems to be going from strength to strength at eGo where the next date will be Sat 18th Sep. The pre club is at Planet Out from 9pm where discount passes are usually available. Doors open at 11pm, Martin Valentine, Fisher and Price provide the tunes in the Ballroom and The Visitor and Kaupuss provide the tunes downstairs in the Cocteau Lounge. Entry is GBP10 and GBP8 for Taste members. As for club Luvely (see photo, above) which runs on the same night as Fever - sorry for all you guys who like going to both - new details are that on Sat 18th Sep the theme is Luvely Nuns and Bad Habits. Resident DJs are Newton And Stone, Jared, Tommy Kay and GP Paterson (tbc). The pre club on 11th Sep at Habana features Newton and Stone on the decks. Entry is GBP8 for members and GBP10 if not. WWW: http://www.luvely.net/Info line: 0131-657 4633. I've got two free VIP spaces for Luvely - so E-mail me and grovel! For all you ladies out there, the next Velvet dates for your diaries are: Sat 4th Sep, 9th Oct, and 6th Nov. The venue is The Commplex down in Leith with your hostess DJ Michelle, Fiona H and Johnboy. New to the calendar of events in Edinburgh is Disko Bloodbath held in the Cocteau Lounge at eGo. This evening is 'alternative' and is held on the first Wed of every month - the music policy is electro/indie/rock/punk and entry is GBP2. Shame the promoters managed to get themselves picked up by the police whilst allegedly flyposting - the Town and Country Planning (Scotland) Act strikes again! And, in case you have forgotten, Polysuper is still at Mood on Mon evenings with all the camp classics and drink promos avaliable It has also moved to Po Na Na in Frederick St - this will be monthly and if you want to grab a space on the guest list check out the web to join - http://www.polysuper.com/ Wee Alan E-mail: weealan@drink.demon.co.uk --------------------------------------------------------------- GLASCHU - GLASGOW SCENE ======================= Salutations and felicitations gentle folk. Oh my god it's finally happened, I have started watching Big Brother! I blame the hormones, it never said anything under side effects about this. So Nadia Almada a Portuguese, post-op MtF Transsexual is the new darling of the British public, if not the media. So suddenly everyone loves Transsexuals, they discovered that we are people too, we laugh, we cry and we have fabulous dress sense! Better still in the final four we had a Gay man, a self professed Bisexual and the token straight. Okay so Jason now denies being Bisexual and I always had him down as a Muscle Mary anyhow, but nonetheless unlike outside the walls of BB5 diversity is accepted. So let's hope that the public can look beyond television and take that same attitude out onto the street and into the workplace. Personally I have my doubts, but this is one time I would love to be wrong. As to Nadia having bared her soul and pretty much everything else I truly hope she finds the happiness, that I for one think she deserves. It took a lot of guts to reveal that much of herself on national television. Though talking of revelations, I would love to know why Channel 4 felt it necessary to reveal her former identity. Also why they referred to her keeping her 'sexuality' a secret rather than her 'birth gender'. What is the point of employing a psychiatrist experienced in such matters, if you are not going to check your facts? It would seem the media is further behind in its acceptance of diversity than the general public. Finally a special message to all the tabloids who insisted on referring to Nadia as a Portu-geezer, grow up you sad bunch of immature, limp dicked, piss artists. Anyway enough of the diatribe and on with the motley. The next BURLY night is on Friday 10th September at The Arches from 10.30pm-3am and will be "Blokes night at BURLY", tickets are GBP8 for members and GBP10 non-members. Drinks promotions will be available. "The BURLY boys" have asked me to remind you that BURLY is a club night for blokes. If you don't know the difference between blokes and girlie boys, BURLY's not for you. The club has a strict dress code. Their 2nd birthday night will be on the 8th October at The Arches, from 10.30pm-3am, ticket prices as above. Here's a date for your social diary: in association with Glasgay, BURLY presents "The Carnival of the Seven Deadly Sins" at The Arches on Friday 12th November, from 10.30pm-3am, tickets will be GBP12 or GBP10 for members of BURLY. This is an open event for the whole LGBT community. Will you be there donning your interpretation of one of the seven deadly sins and if so which one? Now here's something for those of you with a leaning towards the Goth end of the meat market. New Flesh on Wednesdays Rock/Nu Metal at Privilege, 69 Hope Street, Glasgow (Just up from the Solid Rock Cafe). Doors open 9pm-2am (GBP1 9-10pm, GBP2 between 10-11pm, GBP4 after 11pm). Tel: 0141-353 6555. Fax: 0141-353 6999. WWW: http://www.andywaite. com/newflesh/or http://www. signoise.com/E-mail: newflesh@andywaite.com or nightqueries@signoise.com The next club 'Violate' night is on Saturday 4th September at the Big Joint, 1084 South Street, Scotstoun G14 0AP. A very popular event, this club welcomes a mixed crowd of all ages. Music is provide by DJ Loveless - a mix of Dance and Rock. A play area is set up in the large back room and food is included in the ticket price. As an introduction to the BDSM scene, this club night is ideal. Doors open at 8pm, club runs until 2am, doors close at Midnight. Tickets are GBP10 on the door or GBP5 for members. Annual membership is available on the door at GBP10. Discount news, you can get 10% off products from the Juju website. Don't forget that your Violate membership card will also get you 10% off in Spyker and all UK outlets of Clone Zone. A note on the dress code at 'Violate'. Please remember that 'all black street clothes' are no longer accepted as part of the dress code. From now on, no one will be allowed in wearing just an everyday black shirt and black trousers. Also keep your eyes open for the announcement of the date for the next 'UltraViolate' event in Edinburgh, you will read it here first. Club Allure takes place every Wednesday night, 11.30pm-3am at The Tunnel, 84 Mitchell Street Glasgow. Entry is GBP3 or(GBP2 with text message) the night features DJ Darren playing all the best Pop, R'n'B & Dance. A top class sound and light system, huge dance floor and fantastic drinks prices, this is the only place to be seen on a Wednesday Night. For more information contact Gordon or Shaun on Thorn Leisure - 07813 269995 or 0141-204 1000. E-mail: thornleisure@yahoo.co.uk So that's it for yet another thrilling edition. By this time next month the Fringe will be over for another year and the bookies will be taking bets on Nadia Almada being the next Tory leader, after all it's the only chance in hell they have of getting elected! Remember folks whatever you find to do: be safe. Angharad E-mail: Angharad@drink.demon.co.uk --------------------------------------------------------------- SCOTTISH MEDIA MONITOR ====================== Garry Otton Examines the Media's Defence of Marriage If you harboured any doubts as to The Scottish Daily Mail's religionist, homophobic agenda, then "KIRK BACKS GAY WEDDING" in two inch high letters on the front page should have spelled it out for you. With hundreds of weddings carried out in Scotland every year, the one between Robert Wicksted, terminally ill with leukaemia, and his partner, Alex Valentine got the magnifying-glass treatment. Jaded re-takes of wedding video footage paled into insignificance after The Herald noted that Edinburgh's PhÏnix pub was the venue, a transvestite was one of the wedding guests and Mr Valentine was close to tears. The Scottish Daily Mail reporter must've been at the Bolly, clocking a gaggle of "drag artistes and transsexuals". Alan Simpson reported "fury from moral campaigners" as a sub-heading bellowed: "Moral campaigners insist: 'It's a travesty of Christian beliefs'." The fact that Mr Wicksted had a 14-year-old son and "was married for four years to a woman to appease his family and the Army before confessing he was gay" should have signalled to the Mail and its half-witted readers that he was also celebrating a divorce from years of inequality, pretence and deception. It didn't take The Scottish Daily Mail too long to rustle up the mandatory outrage. It took "saddened" Church of Scotland minister the Rev Iain Murdoch of Wishaw, Lanarkshire (not a parish with much to its credit in the tolerance stakes) to whinge: "All this is hacking away at the uniqueness and distinctiveness of marriage, which is God's ideal for the enjoyment of sexual intimacy... The Bible is quite clear that homosexual sexual relations are not God's will for humanity and to suggest differently is a distortion of Divine Truth". And throwing the rug off the shadowy figures lurking behind the story, enter Colin Hart of the militant organisation, the Christian Institute. "This is appalling and a complete travesty of Christian teaching. I am appalled because homosexual practice is clearly very wrong and for a Church of Scotland clergyman to bless something like this is absurd and disappointing". ('Ello, Col! Still trolling for cod omi-palones, girl?) Norman Wells, from another militant group, Family and Youth Concern weaved marriage into the Human Genome project, declaring it "one of the basic building blocks of society". If it were that important, and since religionists usually think all gay men's lifestyles are just one randy encounter after another, I don't understand why they don't want all gays to marry? The Mail declared registrars in Scotland were "threatening a boycott due to religious and moral objections" if legislation was passed allowing gay couples to register civil partnerships which the Mail claimed would award us "the same benefits as married couples with respect to property, inheritance tax, pensions and next-of-kin rights". Oh, diddums! What could possibly be wrong with a law that gives support to anyone in a relationship, sexual or not, be they gay couples, carers or unmarried 'straights'? The government say they can't broaden the Civil Partnerships Bill. Why? Tasmania did! Militants like to harp on about tradition which prevents them accepting marriage being extended to gays. In seventeenth century Scotland, marriage was just as legal performed by a blacksmith as by clergy when it was just a matter of saying so in front of witnesses, so why can't we ditch that comparatively modern amendment and return to 'traditional values' and history, when numerous examples of same-sex marriages where noted. The very next day The Scottish Daily Mail ran the whole ceremony again, repeating their report almost word for word, re-titling it: "Kirk split over minister's blessing for gay wedding". The same reporter insisted the Kirk "faced deep divisions" over the Rev Iain Whyte's service. Simpson reported: "Church of Scotland minister the Rev Iain Murdoch of Wishaw, Lanarkshire, last night criticised yesterday's ceremony", but that must've been the night before, since it was the same quote that appeared in the story they had printed the day before! Evidence of the surge of backers to his mean-spirited message was contained in the paragraph: "He added that his views were shared by many within the Church". So let's be having you, then? One at a time! Names...? Addresses...? And again, days later, accompanied by a black and white picture of a classroom of children at prayer, most probably taken in the fifties or sixties and captioned: "Under threat..." religionist, Andrew Collier threw his toys out the pram before writing on the demise of school assemblies, adding: "Only last week, another of (the Kirk's) ministers became the first churchman in Britain to bless a gay wedding. Will he be disciplined or suspended? No". As civilisation as we knew it crumbled before our very eyes, Aberdeen's The Press and Journal had reporter Iain Ramage screaming about an "unholy row" over Inverness hosting "its first gay 'wedding'." This time it was an "unnamed Church of Scotland minister" with an "unidentified city hotel" hosting the reception for Karen Sloan, a Bank of Scotland manager, and Jacqui Clark. With 200 guests it's difficult to see how it could have been so secretive, especially with all the media interest, but there you are! A misguided Sandy Shaw of Nairn Christian Fellowship, put the 'secrecy', (which was much more likely to have been a ploy to avoid the prurient press), down to shame: "No wonder the minister does not want to be identified. Not even the hotel wants to be named. Why such secrecy? When God is at the heart of an occasion, everything is in the open. Jesus Christ does nothing in a corner. What bothers me is when someone says: 'That's the church for you'. I have to respond: 'No, it may be something, but it is certainly not the Church of Jesus Christ'. I assume the presbytery will deal as strictly with him for compromising and undermining the word of God". Ramage wheeled out Rev Hugh Watt, the Moderator of the Inverness Presbytery of the Church of Scotland who said he thought it had always been clear that "marriage should be between two people of opposite genders and should be for life". For life? Aye, right! And aren't 'straights' just shit-hot at that! Weeks after the murder of a gay man in Glasgow, columnist John MacLeod wrote in Glasgow-based broadsheet, The Herald, that gays were simply not equipped to live. Bad enough coming from someone who admits he's gay. He was later sacked from The Herald. Not for what he said about gays, mark you, but for suggesting murdered Soham schoolkids Holly Wells and Jessica Chapman's lives would've been spared had they been in church! None of this perturbs that vile, peddler of filth, The Scottish Daily Mail who'll sign up any religionist who can carp and whinge in their columns that the country's gone to the dogs. I dare say regular readers of the SMM will already know how much John MacLeod pisses me RIGHT OFF! His article: "Why Kirk's gay wedding was a sorry parody" is the just the sort of claptrap that does it for me. When it comes to gay sex, (and face it, MacLeod, you're no expert)! he wanted to remind readers "most people are not homosexual - and most of them regard homosexual acts with revulsion...", he said it is "hard to have a sensible debate on the subject". I presume by 'most people' he means those living on the Isle of Harris! The homophobes could only take succour from MacLeod's mindfuck on gay sex. On the issue of gays marrying, he wrote: "To any informed and spiritually-minded Christian... homosexual marriage rites are repellent... a 'gay wedding' is unnecessary, illogical and faintly ridiculous... There are good reasons for viewing such an exhibition with distaste and, indeed, such a parody of wedlock invites the unease of many gay people". This seemed an appropriate moment for John MacLeod to draw the curtains on such parodies of wedlock as Britney Spear's 24-hour, drive-thru wedding with Jason Alexander in the Little White Chapel. MacLeod's dominant, homophobic father was not likely to remain silent in the face of such sinful manifestations either and had his moment in reporter Alison Chiesa's collection of religionist's outbursts in her 'report' of the National Trust for Scotland's commitment to offering it's historic places for gay and 'straight' ceremonies. It wasn't an issue for the National Trust which has just won my membership, but The Herald needed a story and Professor Donald MacLeod of the Free Church College in Edinburgh needed to sneer: "I expect it may lose the National Trust some support because it has quite a conservative following. However, I welcome the civil partnership legislation as such relationships - which are not marriage - are a reality and the law has to accommodate them. However, I find the aping of ecclesiastical ceremonies slightly irritating and amusing". Alison Chiesa finished her report, sighing: "No-one was available for comment from the Catholic Church of Scotland or the Free Presbyterian Church last night". Oh, well, you tried, didn't you, love! Were the BNP busy too? Or what about asking a few neds knocking back a few jars in an Airdrie boozer? Gay people, like 'straights' are entitled to their space to debate the pros and cons of marriage without fear of that debate being hijacked by Scotland's militant, religious columnists whinging about "the profound offence such a wedding service gives to Christians". Gedover it! With John MacLeod, here was one queer columnist who was clearly batting for the other side! "On the sinfulness of homosexual behaviour, the Bible is quite blunt. Greatly outweighing such negative precepts, however, is Scripture's exaltation of heterosexual marriage, both as the ideal for human relationship and as a metaphor for the union 'betwixt Christ and His Church'. Homosexual relations fall short of this joy". That's given you can trust a book that has been twisted and re-written for political advantage and re-translated more times than Snow White. Back on Earth, many gays were proceeding to inject considerably more dignity into their marriages than any Elvis-themed Las Vegas wedding. MacLeod was unmoved. It was because it was ungodly; it was because we can't have kids; it was because clergymen wouldn't marry us. Anything MacLeod could find, he threw it. He even used his favourite bete noire, the "lunatic fringe of the gay world", adding: "Still less appreciated is the unease with which many gay people view marriage". They included "extreme liberationists" who apparently argue that 'gay' means "sleeping with as many men as possible". 'Straights', of course, just don't do that sort of thing! We should be satisfied with "a properly written will", MacLeod sniffed. Any gays who tried to contribute new ideas in working partnerships were dismissed out of hand. "Such thinking is now both irresponsible and dated", he snapped. He found a suitable character to prove his point in a novel, a "know-it-all overwhelmed in the dementia of end-stage Aids - just a docile little boy confined to his bed, eating his chocolate bars, smudging them all over his face and hands". In the next breath, MacLeod was just another gay man contributing ideas on how we could form partnerships. "Are there no other models for commitment than traditional marriage? Why is heterosexuality the paradigm for gay relationships, rather than friendship? Is the rite of, say, blood brotherhood not as appropriate an expression of fidelity...?" Of our attempt to pursue equality in partnerships, there was a clicking of heels, if not Dorothy's, the studded heels of Jesus in jackboots. "They say, in the Nazi concentration camps, that little Jewish boys used to tag along after German guards and start mimicking their manners and their gait. And they say that, in any oppressed sub-culture, there will always be those whose defence is to adopt the manners and habits of those in power". Pity. When The Daily Mail conducted a poll on the issue, the majority of their readers voted in support gay marriage! What a bummer, eh? David Moulsdale, millionaire owner of Optical Express, Health Clinic, Specialeyes and Co-Op Eyecare in the UK is planning to use the Netherlands as a testing ground for rapid expansion into Europe. Moulsdale, chairman of DCM Holdings, backed religious militant Brian Souter's massive 'Keep the Clause' campaign, sponsoring a private referendum to prevent the repeal of a law introduced into Scotland by Margaret Thatcher's Conservative Government forcing gays to be treated differently in schools. Clause 28 forced local authorities not to 'promote' homosexuality and forbade schools to teach the acceptability of homosexuality as a 'pretended family relationship'. The law was eventually repealed, first in Scotland, and then in the rest of the UK. To promote his company, David Moulsdale uses Jack Irvine's PR company Media House. Irvine masterminded the 'Keep the Clause' campaign for Stagecoach millionaire, Brian Souter. As a former tabloid editor and columnist, Irvine wrote in Scottish editions of The Daily Mirror during the campaign to equalise the age of consent in the UK: "A pretty young boy of 16 can't vote for his local MP, but he can now be buggered by him... So equality is the key, is it? In that case, shouldn't 16-year-olds get the vote, be eligible to become, say, policemen? No? Why not? Because they're not mature enough. But they are deemed mature enough to be bum chums for sleazy old pervs". David Mousdale has now bought two eye laser clinics from Free Vision Euro Eyes, one in Amsterdam and the other in The Hague. CUT IT OUT "Satan preaches against sin... Blair is the child of the 1960s, just as his New Labour Project is the final epitome of that era of liberal cant, immorality, selfishness, vulgarity and social dissolution... Basic civility has been subverted, with the whole process driven by the Blair government. Only with great difficulty has it been deterred from criminalising smacking of toddlers and legalising sodomy in public lavatories" -- Crackpot homophobic Catholic columnist, Gerald Warner on Tony Blair in Scotland on Sunday E-mail: garry@scottishmediamonitor.com Now averaging over 1000 hits a day, read the papers, post your comments or search for material at the SCOTTISH MEDIA MONITOR website: http://www.scottishmediamonitor.com/ ScotsGay supports the work of The Peter Tatchell Human Rights Fund, P.O Box 35253, London E1 4YF. Donations welcome, write cheque to P.T.H.R.F. --------------------------------------------------------------- TIME FOR T ========== Granny's Tale Hush, hush. There my dear ones, my angels, come and sit at Granny's feet and listen to her tale. Mind your fingers under the rocking chair! George! George, don't do that! (If anyone can place that last bit, you don't win a prize, but consider yourself very clever!). Let me tell you of Granny's fight against the wicked people. It started way way back in the early eighties when horrible Mrs T declared war on the unemployed. In fact Norman, her familiar, thought they should all get on their bikes! Of course no one could afford a bike, but they were expected to tug their forelock and say "thank you" like good boys and girls when she threw them the odd penny. She even passed a law that said that young people couldn't get any money unless they lived at home, and if they didn't want to live at home, then they didn't deserve any money, or anywhere to live either. But Granny was brave. Granny stood up with a lot of other people and told Mrs T to shove it, and eventually enough people listened until she, all her familiars and all her trainee goblins had to pack their bags and walk off into the wilderness, and everybody cheered. But Mrs T wasn't the only witch in the wood. There was a special breed of Goblin who didn't think that she was bad enough, and they decided to make even more mischief. They turned their front to the national and started to really hurt people, anyone that they didn't think was a goblin like them. You see they all looked the same and they all thought the same and they all believed that anyone who wasn't the same as them should not be allowed to go around breathing the precious air and walking on the sacred ground. So they hit people, and burned people, and frightened people, and they worshipped their god, a painter and decorator from a far off land and a time not so long ago, and they said that they had had the "right idea", and "what a pity he hadn't been able to complete his work". And the people became frightened. And then Granny, and people like her stood up again and told them to shove it. And eventually enough other listened, and the goblins realised that they would have to try something different. So they changed how they looked and they called themselves "Beautiful Nice Puppy dogs" and they got quite a lot of people to like them. But they still made mischief, and they still liked to hurt people when they could and if other goblins listened to them and then went out and hit people and burned people and frightened people, that wasn't their fault, was it! Being greedy goblins, they weren't happy with where they were, and they cast their yellow eyes on a beautiful country near to where they were, where the people were trying to love each other and help each other, and they thought "let's go and make mischief there, that's a perfect place for us goblins, look at all the little goblins already there, they only need leaders". And Granny shouted, "stop! Stop!" Because she knew what they were really like, and lots of other people joined in. But some didn't believe her. You see they weren't born when Granny started fighting the nasty people, and they felt nice and safe. But one of the people like Granny asked a Goblin, when he could get through the goblin's bodyguards, "How many queers and trannies have you melted down for glue recently?" and the goblin replied "None... YET!" So my darlings, my dear ones. I know you think sometimes that Granny's a bit old now, and she sometimes says silly things. But she's met these goblins, she knows them, and she knows that their dreams are full of barbed wire and cattle trucks and gas chambers and lines and lines of good little boys and girls like you who aren't goblins like them. So believe Granny when she says that they will try to find ways to hit you and burn you and frighten you, because that's what they are like. And if enough people don't stand up and shout, "Shove it!" then they could come knocking at your door. Sleep well my darlings, Granny will watch over you as long as she can, but then you must take your turn. (For those of you boys and girls too young to know, the bit at the beginning about George was from the much-missed Joyce Grenfell when she was pretending to be a teacher of an infant class) Andrea Brown --------------------------------------------------------------- DUN DEAGH - DUNDEE SCENE ======================== Hello everybody. The pubs and clubs have been getting busy with the sunny weather really bringing out the crowds and flesh. Anyway, here goes with a run down of all that is on in the Dundee and Tayside scene this month. Diversitay usually hold their monthly icebreaker night on the last Wednesday of the month - next one should be on August 25th. The past few times they have been in The Braes on Perth Road. Exact details - and an exact date can be found from giving them a call Dundee (01382) 202620 Monday 7-10pm or by checking out their recently re-launched website at http://www.diversitay.org .uk/ Another mention of the 'Vital Statistics' questionnaire published by Gay Men's Heath Tayside: Run by Sigma Research this questionnaire provides an important picture of the sexual health trends of gay and bisexual men in Tayside and Scotland. It can be obtained online at http://www.gaymenshealthtayside.com/or a Freepost paper version is available at various establishments throughout Tayside. I have also noticed a questionnaire on their website for those who have used local NHS facilities, so if you wish to share your experiences log on to the site and let them know. Forty-two Millgate Loan in Arbroath is to remain the Inverpark Hotel, as the name change to the Blue Angel Inn won't be happening. It is still under the same management and still offers a friendly welcoming atmosphere for all. The ladies darts team and football team meet Thursday nights, they have had a great response and already made up the teams but I'm sure new players would be welcome. There will also be a once-monthly live music night, and no doubt other various goings on that you can find out by popping into the bar. In Brooklyn's Bar, karaoke with Suzie continues on Wednesday, Friday and Sunday evenings. Along with the newly built stage in the bar there is also a DJ plinth, and set up high will be Ross on Saturday nights returning to DJing after a long absence from the club downstairs. A combination of cycling and shagging the beau has kept me out of the pubs and clubs for a while, but reports are that Out has really picked up on Saturday nights and is back to its packed-out self. Other nights include Wicked on Wednesday where you can get two Wickeds for GBP3. Also the first Tuesday of the month (7th September) is the Wet Pussy Party, a monthly night for girls, GBP5 on the door including membership then GBP3 thereafter, and guys are allowed as long as they are accompanied by a responsible member. The disco is on Friday and Saturday nights at Charlie's Bar. The next quiz night will be on 7th September starting at 8pm, with GBP100 prize money up for grabs. Lastly apologies to those who had difficulties getting a copy of last month's mag, some Dundee venues were missed during delivery. (And the person responsible will have a sore bottom when I'm next in Dundee! Ed.) Chris E-mail: courier_chris@yahoo.co.uk --------------------------------------------------------------- OBAR DHEADHAINN - ABERDEEN SCENE ================================ Hi there, well summer is almost over and some of the groups are beginning to get their programmes organised for the coming months. Here's what's happening North of anywhere this month. What has an area of 3,000 square miles, a population of 250,000 and precisely nothing for the LGBT community? The answer is Aberdeenshire - the gay black hole of Scotland. It's a rather pretty black hole but I'm digressing. I only ask because I received an e-mail from a tourist asking where the gay scene around Ballater and Braemar was. Now, stop laughing, this is a serious issue. Aberdeenshire Council who have an annual budget of GBP400 million spend precisely nothing on us and so far have resisted attempts by the North East LGBT Forum to set up a dialogue. When I sent a query to the council I did get a very prompt reply from Head of Policy stating that "Partly in response to forthcoming legislative requirements, we have a commitment to produce a wider Equalities Plan that will include the needs of the lesbian, gay, transgender and bisexual communities. We will consult representative groups in drawing up the plan." I guess this will provide the Forum with a new challenge but if you have an interest in this area or represent an organisation in Aberdeenshire now is the time to act to help drive this forward. August is a month of anniversaries - Wellmans Health Suite has been going a year. The owners have been very pleased with the number of people using the facilities. They have recently added a new dark room and massage room and membership numbers are steadily increasing. Bar Indigo will be celebrating its first year later in August with a special appearance by Kelly Wilde on Sat 21st Aug. She will be performing her hits including Gloria and there will be a door charge of around GBP5. Perhaps they could use the proceeds from this to get a sign with their name on it for the door. Also me and Chris will be taking a break to celebrate our first year together. The North East Scotland Gay Group (NESGG) meetings restarted on Sun 15th August after the summer break and will as usual continue to run on the third Sunday of the month. The group are on the lookout for new members and ideas for talks or events over the next 12 months, so if you want to come along contact the PHACE office. If you missed this meeting the next one is on Sun 19th September. Icebreakers at PHACE Scotland for LGBT people who are 'coming out' or new to the area is next on Tuesday 21st September at the PHACE offices. The Moray LGBT Group meets on Thursday 16th September. The Moray group has a growing membership and anyone is welcome to come along to the Health Point offices, High Street, Elgin from 7.30pm onwards. After a number of discussions around the PHACE/Pillar LGBT Mental Health group about a suitable meeting space it has been decided to relocate the group to the PHACE Scotland offices on Sun between 1-3pm. PHACE Scotland are still currently based at 21-23 Justice Mill Lane, Aberdeen, but hope to be able to bring you news about a confirmed move very soon. Until then I want to keep the address a secret in case it all goes tits-up! The usual contact details apply for anyone wishing to find out more about any of the groups and services, Aberdeen (01224) 587166 or E-mail: markt@phacescotland.org The Granite Sisters seem to be on holiday at present but their website is promising new events soon including another 4 to 9 dance and chat event at the Arts Centre so keep checking back for updates. Aberdeen Lesbian Group is also drawing up their list of events so this should be available on their website soon. Just to clarify last month's comment about Pride. Pride was one of NELF's original goals but it required a hell of a lot of effort to get it off the ground. The guys from Phace and everyone who volunteered put in an enormous amount of effort to ensure that it succeeded. Not just for the first couple of years but to ensure its success for the future. Thanks to them, Pride Aberdeen 2004 was fully organised by NELF due to the hard work and experienced gained from previous years. I hope this success continues so that we may all enjoy Pride Aberdeen 2005 and beyond. Don't forget that in addition to Bar Indigo in the Adelphi, the New Caberfeidh at the Hotel Metro on Market Street is now open 5 nights per week. DJ Elaine will be playing music to suit all tastes. Tivoli E-mail: Tivoli_abdn@yahoo.co.uk --------------------------------------------------------------- INTERNATIONAL NEWS FROM REX WOCKNER =================================== *Aussie marriage ban passes Australian Prime Minister John Howard's proposed ban on same-sex marriage passed the Senate on 12th Aug. The vote was 38-7. It previously cleared the House of Representatives. Activists called the legislation possibly unconstitutional. "We are seriously considering the possibility of a High Court challenge," said Rodney Croome of the Equal Rights Network. "This is a very dark day in Australian history." *Gay activists arrested in Nepal Thirty-nine members of Nepal's GLBT Blue Diamond Society (BDS) were arrested at locations around Kathmandu and taken to the Hanuman Dhoka police station where they were "brutally" beaten, the group has reported. Police said they were acting on complaints of sexual assaults against pedestrians, but BDS denied its members engaged in any inappropriate behaviour. "They have been detained till now without food and have been treated inhumanely without having any faults, and we, [the] Blue Diamond Society, are very concerned," the group said. Blue Diamond Director Sunil Pant urged the government to "release our captured members without any conditions." "Blue Diamond Society is involved in purely promoting human rights and HIV awareness among sexual minorities in Nepal without causing harm to anyone," he said. *Vandals attack Turkish gay group The Kaos GL Cultural Centre in Ankara, Turkey, was attacked by antigay vandals in late July. Two pieces of cement were thrown through the centre's office windows and landed on the conference-room table. No other tenants of the building were vandalised. "This is clearly an intrusion and threat to the visibility and rights of the Turkish LGBT community," the organization said in a press statement. "As we [have] experienced all over the world, the more visible the freedom of homosexuals, the [more] intensified [is the] homophobia and hatred towards us." Kaos GL also publishes a bimonthly GLBT magazine. *Robinson sentenced to community service Gay Canadian MP Svend Robinson, who resigned after stealing a $50,000 ring from a jewellery sale in April, has pleaded guilty. He was sentenced to 100 hours of community service. British Columbia Provincial Court Judge Ronald Fratkin granted Robinson a conditional discharge. He will have no criminal record. "What he has gone through is enough," Fratkin said. "He's fallen a long way and embarrassed himself." Robinson served in Parliament for 25 years. *Kiwis report antigay violence Eighteen percent of New Zealand gay men and 9 percent of lesbians say they've been physically attacked because of their sexual orientation, a survey has found. The Lavender Islands poll, conducted by Massey University, also found that three-quarters of gays and two-thirds of lesbians have been verbally assaulted by homophobes. Fifty-nine percent also said they had been outed at some point. *Hong Kong gov't to survey on gays The government of Hong Kong will survey the population to gauge its support for a host of gay-rights measures, according to the South China Morning Post. On the agenda are an antidiscrimination law, recognition of same-sex relationships, and matters related to taxation, education and health, the paper said. "I don't think the Hong Kong SAR [special administrative region of China] government will try to impose something like this on the community without at least 50 percent support," said Stephen Fisher, deputy secretary of the Home Affairs Bureau. In an editorial, the Morning Post endorsed the proposed changes. "The absence of laws protecting the gay community from discrimination sits uneasily with Hong Kong's claim to be a world city," it said. "It undermines our community's claim to be fair-minded, tolerant and diverse." *Mob attacks Zimbabwean gay group at book fair A screaming mob of homophobes chased members of Gays and Lesbians of Zimbabwe away from their booth at the Zimbabwe International Book Fair. Three members of the group said they were attacked physically. Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe has made repeated, vociferously antigay public comments in recent years. They include: "What an abomination, a rottenness of culture, real decadence of culture. [Homosexuals are] repugnant to my human conscience ... immoral and repulsive. ... Animals in the jungle are better than these people because at least they know that this is a man or a woman. ... I don't believe they have any rights at all." ----------------------------------------------------------------------- SCOTSGAY VOICE FOR PERSONALS ============================ (We regret that this service is only available within the UK) To reply to ScotsGay Voice Ads, phone 09068 556613 (calls charged at 60p per minute) and use the number at the end of the ad. You can leave your own ad FREE on FREEphone 0800 138 4121. 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